Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Roller Coaster: Possibilities

This is the fourth post in a special bi-weekly series.  It's a sequel to The Longest Weekend of My Life series.  Please check back next Saturday for Part 5.

Part 4: Possibilities

When I got up Friday morning, I noticed the bleeding had lessened. It wasn't even as much as a normal period. I had no cramping, and still just a bit of aching in my lower back. I tried calling my midwife but her son told me she was at a birth, and I knew my chances of having a really good detailed conversation with her at that time were not good. I talked with my sister on the phone, who reminded me of the peace I'd felt throughout my experience, and reminded me to trust my feelings.

I also reached out to a friend who works as a labor and delivery nurse, for some feedback. She told me that I was probably alright, but I could be having a miscarriage. She said that if it were an ectopic pregnancy I'd most likely be in a lot of pain, which I wasn't. In either case I would be alright without seeking immediate medical attention. We talked for a while and she suggested that I could check in with my OB's office and see if they would recommend any blood tests or an ultrasound to check things out. With it being a Friday I didn't want to miss the opportunity to settle the matter before the weekend, and I definitely wanted to avoid having another Longest Weekend of My Life. I also thought about the fact that my OB's clinic has an ultrasound and lab right there on the premises, and wouldn't likely send me to the hospital for anything unless there were something imminently serious.

On the other hand, I didn't want to jump to conclusions and subject myself to unnecessary worry or testing. I prayed and decided that since the bleeding was less and I was mostly comfortable, I would wait, and I felt peaceful about my decision. In my prayer I also asked that if there were any reason I should seek medical attention, that I would have more pain or something to alert me to that need.

I felt the cramping increasing a bit. It had gone from just in my lower back and spread through my whole midsection. I put some yam balancing crème all over the achy parts, because that had always been helpful for menstrual cramps in the past, and I called my midwife. She was very calm and reassuring. She said that it could be any number of things happening. The first possibility was that it was a normal pregnancy with a period, and nothing wrong. Another possibility was that I could be miscarrying. It could be a single miscarriage or the miscarriage of a twin while the other remains viable. She also mentioned that it could be molar pregnancy or blighted ovum, where the body thinks it's pregnant and acts pregnant even though there's actually no actual fetus growing. It usually passes on its own. She told me that it's important to be open to all of these possibilities and not resign myself to a certain result. She said that the doctor wouldn't be able to do much other than run blood tests and such, and assured me that the best thing to do was to rest. I was tired, so that's what I did.

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