Piper's Birth Story

like all other mothers who write their birth stories, i will try to keep this short, but i will fail.

i think "labor" started on saturday morning 4/23.  i just felt weird and queasy, enough so that i called my midwife, rena, to ask her about feeling so nauseated.  she encouraged me to just listen to my body, eat and rest as i needed.  i didn't think it was labor, but looking back this was the beginning.  later that night i had some bloody show, and this continued throughout the day sunday.  i had been having contractions for a few weeks, but nothing painful.  these continued, but were getting more frequent.  still, they were easy to ignore, so i did.

sunday night i was up every hour and half or more to pee - and waking during contractions.  still they weren't painful, so i ignored them.  i called rena again on monday morning to talk to her about the contractions and bloody show, which i was still having.  i knew this meant i was getting closer to labor, but wanted reassurance as well.  with liam, my labor started immediately after the "show" and i perceived this to be more of an event than a process.  rena is awesome, btw, and said that my body knew what it was doing, that every labor is different, and that all of this was work.  i told her i thought for sure i would have the baby in the next three days, or sooner.  

my appetite was unchanged, so i ate a big breakfast and continued with my plans for the day.  liam and i went to sarah's house to have a playdate with ethan and amelia.  i picked up some burger king on the way (a favorite in both of my pregnancies) and continued to have contractions (still painless).  we all hung out for a few hours, and towards the end i decided maybe i should go home and rest and start timing them.  colin called while i was at sarah's to let me know he had decided to go ahead and air up the birth pool over his lunch break.

back home, liam and i had resting time, which meant he watched a movie while i napped and timed the contractions.  they were between 5 and 10 minutes apart and lasted 30-45 seconds long.  they stopped while i slept, and were a still pretty painless.  colin got home around 5:30 and i showed him my contraction log.  we ate a big dinner of leftovers.  i had ham, sweet potatoes, tomato soup and a few deviled eggs.  being so hungry really made me feel like i wasn't really in labor, just still getting ready.  

the contractions continued through dinner and after.  i decided to call mom and mandy around 7:30pm to let them know what was happening.  since they were so regular, they decided to leave for topeka.  i was still doubting whether it was really happening, since it didn't really hurt and they weren't getting more intense.  

i called rena to give her the heads up, too, and megan, our birth photographer.  i decided to take a bath to see if they would slow down and took that time to rest, just in case i had a long night ahead of me.  with liam's labor, i was in labor land immediately.  with this one, i was very grounded and lucid the entire time.  i watched my stomach in the bathtub during the contractions turn into practically a cube.  it was so cool!  colin took liam for a car ride so he would fall asleep.  my contractions pretty much stopped while i talked on the phone, spacing out to 15-20 minutes.  i called rena and asked if she would just stop by to check on me around 9:45.  again, i wasn't really feeling like i was in labor.  but thought she should come over. 

after liam was in bed and mandy arrived around 9:30, i started to have to move through the contractions and breathe.  i leaned over the yoga ball and spent time on my hands and knees.  as soon as my sister arrived, everything picked up.  i think the combination of liam being awake and my birth team not being assembled kept my labor at bay.  once rena and lilly arrived at 10pm, my contractions were 3 minutes apart and i could no longer talk through them.  i still felt totally weirded out by the feeling of NOT being in labor in between the contractions.  

lilly, who was assisting rena and is training to be a midwife, is also a doula and provided wonderful conterpressure on my back.  she and colin offered me water and i just hung out in between contractions.  she told me she could feel piper's head through my back.  how cool!  colin and i both got to feel her - it was incredible.  the contractions were getting mighty uncomfortable and i wanted the pool filled quickly.  we ran out of hot water, and my support team had water boiling on every burner.  i was still unsure if i was in active enough labor to get in the pool, but rena reassured me that it wasn't going to slow down.  

while waiting for the pool to fill, lilly took my and piper's vitals to get a baseline.  i was still breathing through the contractions, but they were getting harder.  finally, i could get in the tub around 11.  it felt so wonderful!  the bottom of the tub is inflated and i could move around easily.  my labor really picked up.  and i finally let myself believe i was in labor and actually going to have a baby!

the midwives and colin turned off all the lights and lit my candles.  i told them they were for all the women thinking about me while i labored.  it was really powerful.  i was glad to be in the dark, although i feel like i never opened my eyes again until she was born, so maybe it didn't matter.  

then liam woke about 20 minutes later.  he was crying and i wanted him to know i was ok.  i hugged him over the side of the pool and colin took him to mandy and the grandmas downstairs.  my contractions completely stopped.  i can see now that my body was waiting for him to be taken care of to start piper's labor, and it wouldn't start again until he was ok.  i got the report that he was watching a movie and i could relax again.  i asked rena to turn on the cd player to get my mind off any ambient house sounds (including liam).  i listened to musical acupuncture, a cd i found in with some doula books michelle stottlemire donated to the AP and LLL libraries.  i didn't listen to it beforehand, i just knew it would be what i needed to hear, and it was.

everything picked up and continued to get harder.  my water broke in the tub a little after midnight.  i continued to labor in the water, but it was getting increasingly difficult to find a good position.  i felt like i was moving constantly in between contractions, but would invariably lean over the side on my knees during one.  lilly and colin continued to offer me water to drink.  

then things get a little blurry.  transition was INTENSE.  i was still lucid in between, and needed reassurance that i could do this after all.  i started to feel really hot, so rena got a bowl of ice water and they gave me a cold wash cloth for my forehead.   it seemed like i hadn't been in labor long enough, and i was afraid it would be that hard for too long, that i would get too tired.  i asked rena to tell me that i would for sure have this baby by morning.  she said, you are definitely having the baby.  ah, midwife speak.  still, it was enough.

i really vocalized during transition.  lots of moaning, and blowing through my lips all blubbery - ina may fans will know what i mean.  that breathing really helped me open up and melt the contractions away.  it was amazing.  i started to feel like i needed to get into another position and got into a squat and immediately felt like i had to poop.  i remember thinking - "you're almost done!  remember, that's what it feels like to push!"  of course, i did poo some, which is expected.  but i was ready to push.  

rena asked if i could feel her head inside.  i reached in and there she was - about two inches in.  that was INCREDIBLE!  i was totally re-energized and knew i was going to meet her soon.  i pushed with the next contraction and she moved down.  i pushed in a squat, on my hands and knees, but then decided it felt best to lay on my side.  i held my right leg up pushed.  i could feel her move down, then back up in between.  when she crowned, it was awesome.  almost done!  i gave myself perineal support and could feel myself stretch slowly. i pushed just a few times and her head was out.  this apparently took colin by surprise, as he was supposed to get the family from downstairs. 

i felt her little head in the water and then pushed out her shoulders, then her little body.  her cord was wrapped around her neck (twice i think) and she somersaulted out, unlooping it once.  i still had my eyes closed, but i had my hands on her and was ready to bring her to me.  rena told me about the cord and unlooped her and handed her to me.  she was officially born at 12:57am.

she was perfect.  she was covered in vernix and so tiny!  she weighed 8lbs 4 ounces and was 19 inches long.  her hair looked very red, but we haven't quite decided what color it really is.  she didn't cry for awhile, just looked around taking it all in. rena listened to her lungs and heart while she was on my chest and checked out her color.  she was perfect.  liam got to watch her being born, and really wanted to get in the pool.  as soon as she was born, i was over the water.  it was pretty funky, so after 5 minutes or so we decided to cut her cord so it would be easier to get out.  liam got to do the honors, with daddy's help.

i didn't have any tearing, maybe just a skid mark or two.  i wasn't even really swollen.  i delivered my own placenta on the bed after i got out of the pool.  it was just awesome.  

no one checked my dialation, or told me to change positions, or told me when or how to push.  my midwife and lilly really trusted that i would know what to do and just let me do it.  they were in the room the whole time, but didn't meddle with my labor.  they gave me encouragement when i asked for it.  i feel like the space we created really helped my labor move so quickly.  

i can't get over how awesome everything went.  i ate some snacks, and piper nursed and pooped a few times.  we had some family alone time for about an hour while lilly started preparing my placenta for encapsulation.  i took a shower (the shower chair was really handy for that!) and we did the newborn exam around 2:30am.  everyone left around 3:30 or so.  grandma sonja took liam on a car ride to get some fries so he could fall back to sleep.  

since then it's been life with a newborn.  i'm averaging four hours of sleep a day, in one hour chunks here and there.  i lay in bed all day or in the recliner.  i am waited on hand and foot.  i get food and snacks delivered to me all day long, and this really helps me not feel sleep deprived.

i cannot wait to see the photos megan took of this special time.  

piper is absolutely perfect, and although liam wasn't sure he would, he does in fact love her.  <3 

you can see more pictures on her website, piper.whataham.com

Lovely Twin Home Birth Video

Twins can be born vaginally, and even at home.

Notice the second baby was born in the caul.

Midwife/Home Birth Animation

Here's another fun poke at stereotypes regarding midwives and home birth...

Darcy's Birthday

by Casey


I began my prenatal care with Darcy’s pregnancy at a birth center. I had some issues with “white coat hypertension” meaning my blood pressure would spike when it was time for it to be taken, but was otherwise fine. I was less than pleased with how this was handled, and decided to try and find another midwife for this pregnancy.


I asked Danny to consider a home birth midwife, Kelli, whom I had researched and heard to be great. We went to a consultation and I was immediately confident that this was the direction I wanted to go in. Danny’s worries about home birth were alleviated after the consultation so we made the switch, 6 months into my pregnancy.


We didn’t take the decision lightly at all, but I was and am of the attitude that I’m only going to give birth so many times in my life, and as much as it depended on me, I was going to seek the kind of care any pregnant woman deserves, whether from a midwife or a doctor. I was also going to fight to have the kind of birth I personally wanted as a low-risk pregnant woman – unhindered, allowed to listen to my body, be present mentally and physically, push in whatever position I wanted, etc.. We did not choose to make this decision to switch public beyond family and a few friends.
Amazingly enough, but not at all surprising, my white coat hypertension disappeared under Kelli’s care.


Danny = husband
Olive = daughter, 20 months at the time
Karen = mother-in-law
Courtney = sister.


I woke up on July 30 at 6:15 am. Not normal for me, but I was awake and feeling “off”. I had some contractions, but they were pretty far apart. Olive woke up at 6:45 or so and I made her breakfast and put her in front of the TV so I could figure out what was going on with my body. (I was induced with Olive, so I never got to experience what it was like to go into labor on my own before) The contractions were probably every 10 to 15 minutes apart at this point.


Karen came to get Olive at 8:30 to spend the morning together and I packed some extra stuff, thinking that today might be the day and Olive might be gone for longer than just the morning if I was in labor. I laid back down and my contractions spaced out to every 30 minutes apart, sometimes every 20.


At about 11 or so, Courtney and I decided to go to Panera for lunch. I had a couple contractions while we were gone, but again, they were very far apart and not regular.


On the way home from lunch, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and could think of nothing but sleep. I wanted to listen to my body, and my body was telling me to sleep, so when we got home that is exactly what I did. I took a great nap, had some contractions throughout, but rested really, really well.


We were watching Ellen and at 3:30 I decided it was time to start keeping track of the contractions and timing them, because they were coming more regularly now, even if they were far apart. 


I used contractionmaster.com to time them. Here is how the times went from when I started keeping track: 17 minutes apart, 10 minutes, 7 minutes, 4 minutes…they picked up fast, obviously. I paced behind the couch while we continued to watch TV and leaned over it during the contractions, doing my deep breathing.

It felt SO good and right to be standing and moving and not in a bed. I told Danny to have his mom come back and get Olive, and moved to the bedroom (after answering a work e-mail from my boss ha, ha!). I was in there for maybe 30 minutes and told Courtney to call the midwife and asked Danny to call the other people who were going to be at the birth: my mom, Danny’s sister Kimberly, and my good friend Jennifer to take pictures.Then I moved to the tub in our 2nd bathroom.


The water felt great. It was around 5:15 and Courtney came in and said she left two messages for Kelli – one at home and one on her cell. I tried not to panic, because I knew that my labor was progressing fast. Kelli called back and said she was going to run home and change into pants and then be right over. She called back a few minutes later and said she was NOT going home and was 10 minutes away. Whew! I kept saying “she better hurry!”. My contractions were very strong and long at this point. I tried to keep my tones low as I breathed through them (which was not too hard for this alto)


My contractions were one on top of the other, seemingly lasting forever. And I was having those typical “I can’t do this” thoughts that occur during those last few centimeters of dilation.


Suddenly at the end of the contractions I was pushing. Well, my body was pushing, I was just letting it do what it wanted to do. Kelli called in to the bathroom “are you pushing?” She came in and I said “I guess I’m dilated, huh?” She said “the body doesn’t lie,” meaning it wouldn’t start moving my baby down and out if I wasn’t. I will always remember that statement. She told me to feel for my baby’s head. So I did. My water was still in tact, so it felt kind of like a water ballon.


During all this everyone else was working to get the bigger tub that Kelli brought set up. We got word it was ready so I waited to get through another contraction and then moved. I think I might have dove in, it looked so inviting because it was so big. I immediately and instinctively got on my knees and held onto the edge of the tub with my arms. I was pushing and, funnily enough, narrating what I was feeling for everyone there. “Burning burning, crowning, crowning…” My water broke mid-push and then Darcy’s head was out and Kelli checked for the cord, telling me what she was doing all along so as not to catch me off guard with her touch, since she was behind me.


She wasn’t doing anything. Darcy was rotating herself to get her shoulders out. I think at that point I called my halfway born daughter a “little missy” for the discomfort her rotating was causing me. But, within seconds and one more push she was out and Kelli pushed her through the water under me and into my arms. 
I played with her and floated her around in the water for about 20 minutes while Kelli took her respirations, heart rate, apgars, all that stuff. Darcy was so peaceful. The cord was not cut until the afterbirth was out (and it was not pulled out, but allowed to detach itself which took 16 minutes).


I was in “hard labor” for about 2 hours. I pushed for 4 minutes (and again, I didn’t really do it, but allowed my body to take over and do it). Darcy weighed in at 8 lb 6oz (a full pound + bigger than Olive, and 1 hour 16 minutes less pushing time!) I think those times are attributed to the comfort and safety I felt throughout my labor – from my environment and the people who surrounded me.


A big lesson I learned from the whole prenatal and birth experience is to not be afraid to fight for and have the care and experience you want. Life is too short to take monumental experiences lightly, and – You deserve it. All along I knew that if things didn’t turn out the way I hoped, at least I didn’t let myself get railroaded, and I was under the care of someone who had MY best interest in mind.

Preparing for Unassisted Birth

This information is compiled from various sources for informational purposes only.  If you or someone you know is preparing for a possible unassisted birth, this should not be your only information source.

Rather than post a list of necessary items, I'll give some guidelines.  There are very few truly necessary things for birth, and you can generally make do with what you already have at home.  

For instance, one mother had an unexpected home birth with no supplies:  

They had just moved and most of their things were still in storage when she unexpectedly went into labor three weeks before the due date.  All they really had was a t-shirt to wrap the baby in after it was born, and they used thread to tie the cord and scissors from a first-aid kit to cut it.

Someone I know had a similar experience:

They were planning a hospital birth, but the mother had a very fast labor (40 minutes) and the baby was born in the bathroom before the father had even arrived home to help.  She had called him home from work and he got there after the baby was born and helped deliver the placenta.  He used a shoelace to tie off the umbilical cord, and kid scissors to cut it.

Unplanned home birth carries more risks compared to planned home birth.  Some women have a history of fast labor, and there are times they just don't make it to the hospital or the midwife doesn't get to their home in time for the birth itself.  In these cases it may be a good idea to plan for a possible unassisted birth in case things go so quickly that the preferred plans don't work out.

The first and most important piece of advice:  Have faith.  Trust in your body's ability to birth this baby.  In his book "Childbirth Without Fear" Dr. Grantly Dick-Read states that 95% of births can safely take place without any intervention.  This means the odds are in your favor to safely birth your baby without help.

"I like to tell my clients to remember their grandmothers and other female ancestors. Since the beginning of time, the women in her bloodline have given birth successfully, otherwise she, herself, would not be here having a baby." - Melissa Chappell, Doula

Follow your body and do what instinctively feels right.  Don't try to analyze anything, just let your mind go into the primal state that it will naturally go to if you let it.

Dr. Gregory White has a book about birth for fire fighters and police officers, in case they get a 911 call to a birth.  It's a step-by-step guide that tells how to catch a baby.  Dr. White says "any normal 8 year-old can do this."  If you have an older child or partner who can help, you can prepare yourself and them by reading this book.

Check for a nuchal cord: When the baby's head is out, slip your index finger in to feel for the cord.  If there is a cord around the neck the baby may be able to "birth through the cord" or do a somersault as the head stays close to the mom's body.  If the cord is very tight you may have to flex the baby's head and slip the cord over it.  Very rarely do you need to cut the cord and unravel it before the rest of the body is birthed.

What if the head is out, but the body is taking a while?  The body generally slides out soon after the head, and usually comes out with one push.  If it seems to be taking a long time, the baby's shoulder may be caught on the pelvic bone.  True shoulder dystocia is rare, but generally simple to handle.  Just get up on your hands and knees, and it will help shift the baby's position and allow the rest of the body to come out easily.  If this doesn't help, then you can reach in with your finger and gently pull the shoulder toward the baby's chest and release it.

What do I do when the baby is out?  After you or a support person has caught the baby, simply bring the baby up to your torso.  The placenta will still be inside, and the baby will still be attached to it by the umbilical cord.  There is no need to cut the cord before the placenta is out.  

How do I help the baby breathe?  Most babies can expel the remaining amniotic fluid from their lungs by simply spitting it out.  You can help your infant do this by holding the baby face down with your hand supporting the tummy.  If you're concerned that it may not be coming out fast enough you can use your own mouth over the baby's mouth and nose to gently suck out the fluid.  Suck, spit, suck, spit, etc.  The baby may cry a bit once the fluid is out, which is a good indication of breathing.  If you have a bulb syringe, you can use it to suction the fluid out, but this isn't as gentle as the other methods described.  Always remember to suction the mouth first, and then the nose.  It may help you remember this by remembering that M comes before N in the alphabet.

How do I keep the baby warm?  The easiest way to do this is by keeping the baby against your warm skin, and place a towel or blanket over the baby and yourself.  Breastfeeding is an excellent way to keep the baby warm and happy.

How do I help the placenta come out?  You may or may not feel contractions after the baby is out.  Do not pull on the cord.  This can cause fragments of the placenta to be left inside, leading to hemorrhage, or some cords may snap when pulled.  You can help the placenta come out by squatting.  Allow the baby to breastfeed, and this will help the uterus contract effectively to birth the placenta. 

When should I cut the cord?  After the placenta is out you can wait for the cord to stop pulsating before cutting it.  You can use anything clean to tie off the cord.  Braided embroidery thread or string, or a shoelace will work just fine.  There's no need to tie it off in two places.  Simple tie the cord close to the baby's belly button and cut it on the side of the thread away from the baby.  You can even choose to leave the cord intact and simply wrap the placenta in a towel or chux pad and place it near your baby's feet.  The cord will naturally detach within a few days to a week.  Leaving the cord attached is known as Lotus Birth, and you may research this option beforehand.

How do I know if I'm bleeding too much?  Blood loss is completely normal after birth, so don't worry when you see blood.  It's also normal to see blood clots come out with the placenta or afterward.  Trust your feelings more than your brain, as how you feel will be a good indication of how well you are doing after the birth.  You can drink cinnamon tea to help prevent hemorrhage.  Most people have cinnamon in their spice rack, and you can add 1 tsp of cinnamon per cup of water.  2 1/2 cups of blood loss or more is considered hemorrhage, but it can be tricky knowing how much blood you've actually lost.  You may choose to prepare yourself by doing tests prior to the birth:

Put different amounts of water mixed with catsup and pour it on pads, or towels on the floor, or in the bath tub.  Squirt catsup as fake clots.  Always measure before pouring so you can get a good idea of what that amount looks like after it's been spilled.  This will give you a visual indication of how much is too much.

You can even eat a small portion of the placenta as an effective way of preventing or treating hemorrhage.  One way to do this is by making a placenta smoothie.  Midwives in Hawaii use this, and it's recommended to add 1 tsp of placenta to 8 ozs of juice.  Red juices work best, such as cherry or tomato.  Just mix it in the blender and drink.

If you or the baby seem unwell in any way, do not hesitate to call for help.  Most of all, trust your instincts.  If you and the baby are both well, just let the natural endorphins take over and enjoy the memory of your amazing birth and your new little bundle!

Click here for information on researching planned unassisted childbirth

What did you think of this?  Do you have anything to add that might be helpful?

Planning and Meditating on Birth - Part 2

If you missed Part 1, click here to read it.


There is no magic recipe for a perfect birth. 

We have ingredients, or options, and each of us is in charge of writing the recipe that's best for us.  Why must we write our own? Why can't we just take an existing recipe and hope for the best? The Feminist Breeder writes on her blog why she won't leave her births up to chance. When you follow someone else's plan without serious consideration you are essentially leaving everything up to chance. I've done it myself, twice. Sometimes this works and things still turn out OK, as it did for me. You survive and your baby survives... oh, but I've gone over this already.

1. The first thing to do is become an informed consumer.  I've talked about this many times. It's one of the main reasons I have this blog. I believe every expectant parent should do their research and become an informed consumer. Know your rights and your options, and know that you are the one in charge. As a consumer everyone else serves to please you. Doctors, nurses, midwives, doulas, hospitals, birth centers, clinics... ALL of them are there to serve you. They have training and expertise in their various specialties, and can act as consultants in helping you make choices. Their place is not to dictate what will happen or make choices for you. Uninformed consumers must have choices made for them. It's your choice who will control your baby's birth.

How do you know if your birth will be like mine, better off at home away from medical intervention and unnecessary surgery, or like the other mother I mentioned whose baby needed to be in the hospital where he could get the immediate care he needed?

2.  Assess your feelings and follow where they lead you.  Ultimately you must make a choice, based on both knowledge and your personal feelings. Some people have paralyzing fear of hospitals and doctors and would be most comfortable elsewhere. Others have paralyzing fear of NOT being in the hospital where there is ready access to all the medical technology you could ask for. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is really up to you. I have an almost paralyzing fear of surgery, and I would do anything in my power to prevent an unnecessary surgery. That fear definitely plays into the decisions I make for birth, and so far it has served me well. Even if you don't have a paralyzing fear of anything, you will likely have some kind of feeling that will help guide you in the right direction.

3. Honor yourself and tune out the outside noise.  Pregnancy is a time when unsolicited advice seems to come at you from every direction. Whether you want it or not, everyone seems to know what they think is best for you and your baby. Everyone has a story to tell, and they love to tell it. Whether you plan to go to the hospital or have your baby at home or in a birthing center, someone will always have a horror story or opinion to tell you.

I was due to have my fourth baby in January. A very nice lady at church asked me about my due date and I told her that I was focusing on getting through the holidays and then I would feel ready to have my baby. She told me about her daughter who wasn't due until January, but the baby came unexpectedly a month early and she had nothing ready for Christmas. It may have seemed like a harmless story to her, but it stressed me out!

Hypnobabies teaches women to use a "bubble of peace" to help them stay connected with their own feelings and not allow outside advice or stories to upset their emotional balance. Essentially, you imagine a bubble that surrounds your body and keeps in all the happy, good feelings and blocks out all the unwanted stuff that invades you from other people. This is a good way to stay focused on your own feelings, whatever they may be. If there is fear within you then address that fear. Figure out where it's coming from and whether it's valid. Is there anything you can do to allay that fear? Do you have any control over what you're afraid of? If you have control over it, then take care of it. If it's beyond your control then you've done what you can and you can let it go.  Understanding the truth about power and control may help you be able to let go of what you can't control.

4. Continue to check in.  If there's a persistent nagging concern or fear that you just can't shake, then take it seriously and consider changing your plans. Just like the mother I met who never felt comfortable planning a home birth, there could be something you're unaware of that needs you to make a different choice.

In my case, I prayed. I felt I should consider home birth, even though I'd never considered it before. I felt peace about it, and peace as I chose my midwife and moved forward with my plans. I didn't ever feel a need to change my plans, and I never felt the need to prepare for a possible transfer to the hospital. Even as the due date approached, my midwife prayed about who to ask to provide support at the birth, and a specific person came to her mind. That person was a midwife with extensive vaginal breech experience. I feel God knew my baby would be breech, even though none of us did, and He helped me to prepare for it all along the way. I was blessed, I feel, because I knew my options. I had learned as much as I could and then I followed my feelings. I was blessed to avoid surgery which would likely have been traumatic for me. I had the desired experience and the desired outcome, without having to choose between the two.

Darcel's Story - Samuel's Birth at Home

by Darcel

Let me start by saying we went back and forth on deciding if we wanted to have a freebirth or not.  I had researched it since I was pregnant with Ava, and wanted to with her, but Charles wasn't feeling that idea at all. He thought I was crazy for wanting a homebirth.  After Ava's birth and the months,years to follow we talked more about freebirth.  I asked him if he was comfortable this time around, and he was hesitant at first, but then came around. We were going to go ahead with the freebirth this time, and then I changed my mind and wanted to see a midwife. 


Samuel's birth story starts a week before my EDD(estimated due date). Around May 7th or 8th.  I had not seen my midwife since March. I loved seeing her apprentices. They were the ones who did all of my prenatal appointments anyway. The midwife missed my 36 week home visit, but her apprentices came out. I was upset that she missed my appointment. I talked it over with Charles and thought of dropping her then.  When she missed my 2nd home visit, I was done. I was 38 weeks, and had not seen or heard from her in months!  She had not called to check on me, didn't apologize for missing my home visits, nothing. 


Charles and I talked over the idea of having a freebirth once again.  The apprentices helped me find another midwife if we chose to go that route.  They knew that we were comfortable with having a freebirth.  We didn't think it would hurt to have a midwife attend if we changed our minds. 


For all of this craziness to happen when I could give birth at any moment was very stressful for me.  I had prodromal labor for about 3 days.  It was hard for me to deal with. I had trouble sleeping, because I would wake up during the night with contractions, and then I would wonder if this was the day.  I was becoming exhausted, no sleep, contractions off and on during the day and night, taking care of the girls.  I started to feel really drained physically, and emotionally.
One night I cried to Charles about how tired I was, and I felt ready to be done.  I wanted the contractions to either produce a baby, or stop completely because I couldn't take it anymore.


A friend suggested I do what worked for her with both of her kids.  A walk on the beach, a nice big meal, and nipple stimulation. The next day we took the girls to the beach. I had a couple of contractions on our walk to the beach from the boardwalk. I had a few contractions once we left the beach. Those contractions felt different from the braxton hicks I was having. I didn't think anything of it.  We came home and Charles went back out to get Chipotle. I LOVE their burritos.  After a few hours I started contracting again, and asked Charles to get the birthball for me.  I sat at the computer, tweeting, checking email, eating more of my burrito, and timing contractions.  The contractions were any where from 5-10mins apart, and lasting for 45 seconds to over 60 seconds.


I still didn't think I was really in labor. I went to bed a little after midnight, and kept waking up with more contractions. I needed Charles to rub my back through them, and I had to get on my hands and knees to deal with them.  I was back and forth to the bathroom, back in bed, sleep, contractions, back to sleep.  Looking back, I woke up to several contractions that I had to moan through.  We decided to move downstairs to the couch around 3-4am.  I sat at the computer on the birthball again, but kept leaning across the birthball with more contractions.  I was feeling them really low in my belly, and in my back now. I also kept going to the bathroom to pee after every couple of contractions. Sitting on the toilet made them feel worse, so I didn't sit there any longer than I had to. 


I decided to join Charles on the couch, but after a few contractions and not being able to get up fast enough to lean across the birthball, I decided sitting on the birthball would be best.  Charles would wake up and rub my back through the contractions, and then he would lie back across the couch to sleep.  That was fine with me. I needed him to be as rested as possible.  I tried  to watch an episode of The Young & The Restless that I had recorded.  At this point, it still didn't hit me that I was really in labor.  It wasn't until I started to feel like I needed more support. That was around 6am.
I told him it wasn't that his support wasn't enough, I just feel like I wanted midwives to be there.  He suggested I give it another hour to see how I felt, and I agreed. My dad was up getting ready for work, and we thought of sending him on, but I quickly changed my mind in a matter of minutes.


In case your wondering, I'm still not convinced that I'm going to have my baby soon.  I was beyond being in denial, extremely exhausted, or both!


Around 6:30am I was needing to do the slow dance with Charles to work through the contractions. I kept telling myself that I wasn't in pain, they weren't painful, it was pressure, and it would pass. With each contraction I pictured the ocean, and the waves coming in and going back out. It helped that we were at the beach the day before, and I could hear the sound of the ocean in my head.  I decided it was time to call the midwives. They were so awesome, and they were close by since they had attended a couple of other births hours before mine.  I'm not sure what time it was when they arrived, but the contractions were becoming more intense, and I still had to pee after them.  I asked about getting in the pool, but it wasn't with them. They had left it with another mom the night before.  Charles suggested he run some bath water for me, and I couldn't wait to get in it.  Part of me didn't want him to go because I was leaning on him during the contractions. 


Once the tub was ready he helped me walk up the steps to the tub. I had a contraction on the steps and leaned on him while he rubbed my back. We checked in on the girls quickly before walking down the hall to the bathroom.  The water felt so good, and really helped with the contractions. Charles stayed upstairs with me, and the midwives stayed downstairs.  I got to the point where I just stretched out across the tub, and had one of my arms hanging out of it.  At this point I was moaning quite loudly through the contractions, and started to feel like I couldn't go on anymore. Using low tones and the letter O.  That helped me to think of my body opening and the baby moving down.  I was beyond exhausted. I told Charles that I couldn't do it anymore, and I was so tired. He rubbed my back, and told me he knew I was wiped out, but that he knew I could do it. I was on the verge of tears. Not because I was in pain, but my body felt like it was done. I wanted to sleep. 


I told him it was different with Ava, because I wasn't laboring for three days beforehand. I kept insisting that I couldn't do it anymore, and I wanted to go to the hospital. I felt so exhausted that I told myself I didn't care if I had the epidural, or if I had a cesarean, I just wanted to be done. Then I thought to myself that an epidural wouldn't be good because of all the risks and complications that go along with it, and I didn't want a cesarean because of the recovery time, and that could also pose risks to me and the baby. I didn't know what I wanted to do. At this point I felt like I was seeing stars, and couldn't even think straight.  He kept encouraging me that I could do it, no matter how tired I was, and that I was doing it. }  He kept telling me I was doing great, but I didn't believe him.  I asked him to have the midwives come upstairs, and he thought that was a good idea too. 


They came into the bathroom, and I lost it at that point. I started crying, saying I was done and couldn't do it anymore. The contractions were becoming more intense and they suggested that I might want to get on my hands and knees so that my belly was in the water. I stayed in that position for I don't know how long.  Charles went to check on the girls, one of the midwives stayed with me to apply counter pressure to my back, the other one went to get the birthpool.  Charles turned on the shower head and put it on the massage setting so the water would be more forceful on my back.  After a while I decided I was ready to get out of the tub, and I moved to the bed. I asked the midwife to check me. I just had to know where I was, and where the baby was sitting.  She checked me and I was 9cm! I let out a big "Thank you Jesus!" and felt really silly and a little upset with myself for not recognizing that I was in transition, and that's why I felt like giving up.


The midwife said the bag of waters was bulging, and baby was still up pretty high.  She thought the bag of waters might have been what was dilating me. She thought that once my water broke the baby would come down pretty quick.
The other midwife returned with the pool. and I asked them to set it up downstairs.  The girls were still asleep, which was amazing to me because I was moaning like crazy through the contractions now.  Once they woke up, we told them the baby would be here soon. Nakiah went to sit with my dad in his room, and Ava laughed hysterically when I had a contraction. Apparently she thought the sounds I was making were hilarious.  The pool was up, but they couldn't hook it up to the hot water tank.  So they used the kitchen sink, but the adapter still wasn't working correctly.


They told me the pool was ready, but it wasn't full. I didn't care. I was ready to get in and that was all that mattered.  Charles helped me down the steps, and I had a contraction on my way down.  I looked at the clock and it was after 9am.  He helped me into the pool, and the water was so warm and I was able to relax for a few minutes. I put my head back, closed my eyes and drifted off for a few minutes.  Charles had made some recordings for me. The ocean, a rainforest  of birds, and sounds of the Amazon.  The sounds helped me to concentrate on something else, and they were very relaxing, nice sounds to fall asleep to.  I didn't know he made that for me until right then. I had talked about how I thought having music or sounds would be nice to listen to while I was in labor.


When I woke up I felt this pressure in my bottom, and said I felt like I had to poop.  The midwives asked me not to push yet because the baby was still up high. They said I could push if I really wanted to, but I agreed with them that if I could wait until my body started to push on it's own, then that would be best.  With each contraction after that I would moan and blow. They told me I would have a contraction, sleep for 10mins, and then have another contraction. They said it was awesome that my body gave me rest like that right before the big moment. Usually contractions are right on top of each other at the end.   That's how it was with Ava. So thank you body for giving me rest when I truly needed it!
Charles said you could tell the baby was moving down, because the shape of my belly started to change.  After a while I got on my hands and knees again, and Charles and the midwives took turns applying the counter pressure to my back.


Ava would come down and play for a bit. She would check on me and go back upstairs.  Nakiah wanted nothing to do with what was going on at the time. She stayed upstairs, hanging out with my dad.


With the last contraction I remember, I couldn't blow anymore. I yelled "I can't stop, the baby is coming!"  My water finally broke right then!  I was leaning over the tub, holding onto Charles. He was taking pictures and video. I heard one of the midwives ask him if he wanted to catch his baby. She said she would let him know when the head started to crown.  I could feel my body pushing, and the baby coming down. I let out this massive roar....I've never heard that sound come out of me before.


Later my dad told me the girls looked at him when they heard that, and he told them the baby was coming.




The midwife told Charles it was time. I could feel him crowning, and they told me to blow. I started blowing because I didn't want to tear. After his head was out, I gave one last push and Charles said his arm and then the rest of his body came sliding out.  I heard Charles yell "I got my boy!" I started smiling and laughing. I turned over and they handed him to me. I couldn't believe how tiny he was compared to the girls.  The midwives said he was definitely ready to come. He didn't have much vernix on him at all. Some on his head.  I'm so glad I waited until my body started pushing! It was less than two minutes, and he was out.  He took in some water on his way out. I guess I had raised up out of the pool a bit when his head was coming out.A small part of his forehead came out, and that was enough for him to think to take a breath.  I talked to him, we rubbed him to stimulate him, and then the midwife suctioned him a bit.  He started to pink up, and we continued talking to him, rubbing him, and he latched on to nurse within minutes.


Charles went upstairs to get my dad and the girls. Nakiah said she was being shy and didn't want to see him yet. Ava couldn't wait to see the baby. Ava touched his head and said "it's on me!" and wiped her finger off on Charles.  I snuggled with him in the pool for a bit longer, waiting to see if the placenta would come.  After a while we got out of the pool, and not long after the placenta came out all by itself.  It was a tiny placenta compared to the girls.


They helped me upstairs and into bed. Samuel's cord was still attached. After his newborn exam, Charles cut his cord and weighed him. We still can't believe we had a 7lb baby.  Even though this was my most intense birth, it was still an amazing and empowering experience.  There you have it. The story of how Samuel Royce-Alexander came into the world on. May 21st 10:20am 7lbs 10oz.  He's two weeks old now, and we're loving every minute with him. I call him our little Prince.

The Home Birth Controversy

Depending on who you talk to, home birth is either the best thing you can do for the safety of your baby, or the worst. Who are we to believe?


Home Birth has been in the news a lot lately. Just one day after legislation was passed in New York allowing midwives to practice independently of physicians, a meta-analysis of home birth studies was publicized by the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, slamming home birth and claiming that home birth "triples risk of infant death". The Unnecesarean and the Midwife Next Door both chimed in, among others, refuting the meta-analysis and exposing it's faults.

One thing I like to remember is to recognize the source. If a study or analysis is being publicized by AJOG, which is the journal of the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology, then it's going to favor the positions which ACOG has taken on issues. ACOG is a lobbying group, which serves to protect the interests of physicians and hospitals. Groups like the American Medical Association and ACOG have taken strong positions against home birth for a reason. They have financial interest in hospitals and doctors. They lose money when women choose to birth at home. If you read the scathing reviews on the recent meta-analysis you'll see that the analysis contradicts itself. The studies used in the analysis don't support the findings, and the analysis itself contains contradictory information.

You must look closely. Don't take things at first glance, and don't put stock in a catchy headline. Read and do your research. You may find, as I have, that modern obstetrics is not based on evidence. It's based on what's profitable and convenient for the system that's in place.

Learn about your rights as a childbearing woman.

Do your homework. Read books, like "Get Me Out; A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank", "Pushed" by Jennifer Block, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. Watch "The Business of Being Born" by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. Read any of the books written by Ina May Gaskin.

Jennifer Block wrote a really good piece: The Birth Wars: Who's really winning the home birth debate?

We see so much about hospital birth because 99% of babies are born in the hospital in the US. If you want to learn about the safety of home birth, you have to look for it and find the sources. Here are some you can start with:

• The Home Birth Advantage: The Physical and Emotional Benefits of Birthing at Home
• Midwifery Today: The Home Birth Choice

Ultimately, it is YOU who must decide what's best for you. After you've done your research and educated yourself, search yourself and see what feels best in your heart. I believe that intuition can guide us to make the best choices. Avoid making a choice based on fear. This is where the education comes into play. When you're fully informed, you have no need to fear. If you feel peace about home birth, then you know it's a good choice for you. If you still have doubts or fears about it, keep researching and reconsidering until you come to a decision you feel comfortable with.

Busca on Birth Faith posted a really interesting piece about the irrelevance of the place of birth: The irrelevance of home vs hospital. She states that the place of birth is less important than the support a woman receives through labor and birth. I personally feel that both are equally important, but you must come to your own opinion.

You may decide that home birth isn't for you. You want or need to be in the hospital, but you want it to be a beautiful experience. There is a book called Homebirth in the Hospital, which can help you plan and prepare for a beautiful hospital birth.

Freebirth (Unassisted Childbirth)

"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth." - Virginia di Orio

Remember Kasie's story of her unassisted home birth?

That birth story was huge for me. When I first read it, I was 7 months pregnant and planning my own first home birth. Her story gave me great encouragement. I saw a lot of similarities between Kasie and myself, with the exception that I was planning a midwife assisted birth and she had an unassisted birth.

Unassisted birth - or "freebirth", as it's sometimes called - is intriguing to me. I sometimes wonder how my own home birth experience would have been different without the support of my midwives. With a surprise breech, I'm really glad the midwives were there, and everything went smoothly. I like to believe that if I'd given birth without the midwives it all would have gone smoothly, but I suppose I'll never know.

What I do know for myself is this: If I prayed about planning an unassisted birth and felt the overwhelming peace that I felt after praying about home birth, I would definitely do it.

I'm in a good position for excellent home birth support. Through the process of my doula training and ongoing midwifery training I'm developing a fantastic network of amazing doulas and midwives. Many of them are dear friends. I feel that as long as I live here I will not want for better birth support at home. I may never have a reason to consider freebirth.

But what about the women who live in areas where, for whatever reason, cannot get the support they want for a home birth? While home birth is legal throughout the United States, in many states it's against the law to have a trained midwife attend your baby's birth at home. This means that women wanting a home birth in those areas have two options: go "underground" and try to find a midwife to support them illegally at home, or plan an unassisted birth.

The reasons for choosing freebirth are varied. Some women choose it because of limited options, as I described above. Others choose it because they prefer to give birth to their child without any interference whatsoever, surrounded by loved ones, often just their partner and other children.

We don't really know how many women are giving birth at home without midwives because there are no reliable statistics. Nationwide, 90 percent of births still take place in hospitals with doctors attending. Another 8 to 10 percent are with midwives in hospitals or birthing centers. And 1 to 2 percent are at home.

Regardless of the reasons and circumstances surrounding a planned unassisted birth, the choice should not be taken lightly. If you're interested in or considering a freebirth you should do your homework and educate yourself as much as possible. Check out documentaries (such as The Business of Being Born), find support groups in your area, read up on the natural birth process as much as possible and take classes on it. It's best to avoid classes that are taught at the local hospital or health clinic, because they mostly likely wouldn't give you the information you need for a birth outside of the hospital. The Bradley Method is one class I think would be really informative. Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies are good as well. Find online groups and other women who have done freebirth. Find out how best to prepare yourself and your home for an unassisted birth.

A word of caution: I personally would not recommend freebirth for a first-time mom, because to her labor and birth are completely uncharted territory. I would suggest having a midwife-supported birth at home or in a good birth center. Then you may consider an unassisted birth with your next baby. You don't always know how your labor will play out and how you will react in certain situations until you've been through it.

So there you have it. What do you think of unassisted childbirth?

Click here for more about researching planned, unassisted birth.

Click here for a basic how-to guide for unassisted birth

Vaginal Breech Birth: A Lost Art

Here's a photo of me and my sweet breech baby.

Liam

His bottom came out first,

Then one leg came out followed by the other leg,

He kicked his legs in the water,

And the midwife said "Look, he's doing just fine!"

An arm came out next and then the other arm,

And then "he put the hands and the feet on the bum cheeks,

And pushed his head out!"*

The Dance of Breech

*as told to me by my sweet 6 year-old who, along with his 9 year-old brother watched his baby brother's birth.

NY Midwives Lose Right to Deliver Babies at Home

"It's pretty shocking that in a city where you can get anything any hour of the day a person cannot give birth at home with a trained practitioner"

Article: NY Midwives Lose Right to Deliver Babies at Home

As I bask in the glow of the memory of my wonderful home birth, my heart aches for those in NYC who are now being denied that opportunity.

Planned Home Birth Survey

If you have had a planned home birth, even if you transferred to the hospital, you are eligible to take this survey!

"This project will investigate the reasons women choose home birth and try to determine their common characteristics. Your participation is important! Other women may benefit in the future from what we learn as a result of this survey. The results of this study may help to ease the stigma associated with home birth. The information you provide will be kept confidential. The results of the study will be used for scholarly purposes only. The survey will take approximately 15 minutes to complete.

"*If you know of others who have had a planned home birth and may be willing to complete this survey, please give them the link to this survey.*"

Planned Home Birth Survey

Avoiding The First C-Section

This entry was posted by The Midwife on Monday, 12 April, 2010

In honor of Cesarean Awareness Month, featured in the Courtroom Mama blog, I am continuing the topic of avoiding the first c-section. Why is it so important to avoid the first one?

• It’s major abdominal surgery, and carries increased risks for mother and baby
• It often puts the mother in the position of having repeat c-sections, because she cannot find support for vaginal delivery after a cesarean
• It increases the risk of abnormal implantation of the placenta, which can lead to hemorrhaging or need for hysterectomy
• It increases the risk of unexplained stillbirth in a subsequent child.

No one will argue that c-sections can be lifesaving under certain circumstances. Placental separation, placenta previa, cord prolapse, and certain abnormal presentations of the baby might cause injury or death to mother and child if it were not for the ability to deliver a baby by cesarean. I am thankful we have the ability to perform this surgery in a very safe manner. However, the majority of c-sections are not done for emergent, life-saving reasons. It’s those c-sections I want to focus on preventing.

Since most women having a primary (first-time) c-section are also having their first baby, I have five simple precautions that have been invaluable in my practice in helping women to avoid a c-section. I am writing from the perspective of hospital birth, knowing that the majority of women will not choose home birth, although I believe this is the number one way to avoid a c-section:

1. Stay at home in labor as long as possible, and consider giving birth at home. Why?

• Consider an animal in labor. If you’ve ever observed a cat or dog preparing to give birth, you may have noticed that they seek solitude. If they are disturbed during labor, they ahve a natural “fight or flight” reflex that slows or halts labor, allowing them to move to a safer location. While we as human women can intellectually understand the reasons for moving to another location (the hospital) to give birth, our bodies may still respond with a slowing of the labor process.
• It is understood that pain relieving medications can have a slowing effect on the process of labor. Epidurals are associated with a higher rate of vacuum, forceps and cesarean births in some studies. Yet it is difficult for a woman in hard labor to resist the offering of total relief of her pain. When you are at home, you know the pain medication is not available, and so the mind does not focus on it. It is easier to work with the contractions when you aren’t constantly thinking of the epidural available to you in only minutes.
• Staying home in the earlier stages of labor helps you to avoid the urge that hospital staff will feel to “speed things along” if your first part of labor takes many hours. It is common for dilation from zero to four or five centimeters to take many hours, and sometimes more than one day. If you are in the hospital and you are not yet dilated to four centimeters and having contractions three or four minutes apart, you are not in active labor. This part of labor is best spent at home.

2. Hire a doula if you can possibly afford it. If not, seek out an older woman who has had several children naturally herself, or has been present at several natural births, to be with you at home until you decide to go to the hospital.

• A woman who is familiar with the process of a normal birth will be invaluable to you in helping you know when it is time to got to the hospital. She can reassure you that what you are feeling is normal, that you can do it, and that you are stronger than you think.
• Many women are afraid to stay home in labor. A doula or experienced woman will be aware of the normal process of labor and be able to help you feel calm about laboring at home.

3. Find a practitioner who does not put arbitrary time limits on how long you can be in labor. If you are feeling strong, the baby is doing well, and you want to keep going, there should be nor reason to rush to a c-section simply because the labor is taking longer than average.

4. Carry on your usual activities as long as possible. Far too many first-timers make the mistake of doing everything they can to speed labor along. All too often, their efforts succeed at nothing but making them miserable and exhausted. Allow labor to unfold in its own time. Ignore the contractions until you are physically incapable of doing anything else during a contraction as well as in between contractions. This is where many women take their labor too seriously. They think because they have to breathe with a contraction, they are in hard labor. The actions of the mother between contractions are more indicative of the stage of labor. During the latter stages of dilation, the woman is usually quiet, tired, and may even fall asleep between contractions. She does not feel like talking much, or doing anything but resting before the next contraction. If your labor starts in the day, do what you normally would have been doing if you’d not started labor. If your labor starts at night, stay in bed and try to sleep, at least between contractions. If you cannot sleep, at least rest until your normal getting-up time.

5. Stay off the fetal monitor! The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has published guidelines for intermittent auscultation of the baby, stating that it is just as safe for low-risk pregnancies as continual monitoring. It has the added benefit of having a lower c-section rate. This suggests that many c-sections are done for “fetal distress” seen on the monitor tracing, when the baby is actually fine. Once you allow someone to connect you to the continual monitor, you most likely won’t be off of it for the rest of your labor. What is intermittent auscultation? It is not being connected tot he monitor for 20 minutes out of every hour, as many hospitals’ protocols require. Rather, it is listening to the baby’s heart rate with a hand-held doppler before, during, and after a couple of contractions every 15-30 minutes during the first stage of labor. A skilled practitioner can determine if the criteria indicating fetal well-being are present, even with a hand-held doppler.

There you have it–my top five precautions to avoid the first c-section. I’d love to hear your ideas for other ways to avoid an unnecessary cesarean.