VBA3C - Video

This mama almost stopped having babies because she couldn't bear the thought of another cesarean. This video made me cry. A lot. You can do it.

Confession

I can't sleep, and I'm alone with my thoughts. This means I have time to think about all the stuff that briefly passes through my mind during the day when I don't have the time to consider it.

Foremost on my mind: TWINS

I seem to be carrying larger than usual with this pregnancy, enough that I myself have wondered if I might be carrying multiples. It's not logical. There's no family history of multiples that I'm aware of, and I haven't undergone fertility treatments or done anything else I'm aware of that could increase my chances of having twins. But the thought is there, and it keeps coming back.

I've scheduled an ultrasound in a few weeks. I really want to confirm or rule out this thought. I don't think I'd be surprised to find I'm further along than I thought (despite my dates) or that there is more than one baby in there, simply because of the size of my belly.

Is this crazy? Maybe. I never claimed to be sane, especially during pregnancy. In fact, I believe pregnancy gives me the right to be a crazy lady. I can't seem to control it anyway.

What if I'm carrying twins?

My birth plans wouldn't change. I'd still plan a home birth. In fact, my midwife has already promised me that she'd be hands off even if I had twins. Her words, not mine. She's a very intuitive woman. Does she have some kind of inkling she hasn't told me about yet? Hmmm. I may have to ask her at some point.

What would change? Mainly, we'd need a bigger vehicle and we'd have to move. It's in our lease agreement that we can't live here with more than 6 children, so we'd have to start looking for a new place to live. We just bought a van a few months ago that has 8 seats. Yeah, we'd have to sell that and start looking for something bigger. I might end up with one of those full size vans that seats 12 or 15. Think of the space!

Am I scared? Not particularly. I'm grateful for whatever we'll be given, even if that means two babies for the price of one. I have no clue how I'd handle the logistics of 7 children under the age of 12, the youngest 2 being twins. Yeah, things would definitely be interesting, even more so than they are now, in our house. But we can handle whatever we get, whether we think we can or not. I'm stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for.

So there it is. My pregnancy confession. Now, how sheepish would I feel if we have the ultrasound and find that there's only one baby in there? Oh well. At least we could keep our van and our home, and I already know I can handle one baby at a time.

Please Help Raise Funds for More Business of Being Born Films!

The Business of Being Born is a birth documentary film that I love. It helped open my eyes to home birth as a safe, viable option, and I think every woman should watch this film whether or not she's given birth yet.

The great news is that more films are being made! The producers need help with the funding, and YOU can help!


From producers Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein:

"Making our 2008 documentary, “The Business of Being Born,” was a huge labor of love for us (no pun intended); we shared intimate footage of our own births, funded the entire project ourselves, and fell way short of making our money back.  But like any new mom, we’ve forgotten the pain and we’re ready to do it all over again.  Now we’re giving birth to quadruplets.  “More Business of Being Born” is our new series of four educational films that deepens the conversation about childbirth options, supporting every woman’s right to empowerment and accurate information during the birth process.   We’ve also completed a 28-minute Classroom Edition of “The Business of Being Born” with a comprehensive study guide to reach younger women in University settings.


"This is where we need your help.  We’ve made these films with a microscopic budget, once again funded out of our own pockets.  But we’ve come as far as we can on our own.  


"We just launched a campaign on Kickstarter where you can purchase advance copies of “More Business of Being Born” to help us reach our goal of raising $100,000. This money will be used to both finish the films and fund their marketing and publicity, including hiring a publicist, an online marketing company, and funding campaigns on Facebook, Twitter, and various other marketing outlets. The ultimate goal is to make the information found in our films, as well as on our website, available to as many pregnant and soon-to-be-pregnant women as possible!


"Aside from the pride of being part of a revolution in the birthing paradigm, donors will receive incentive packages that include copies of the films, merchandise signed by we, the filmmakers (Abby and Ricki), and some very special packages for the most generous givers. 


"The deal with Kickstarter is that if we don’t reach our $100K goal, we don’t get any of the money – and if we can’t fund the marketing for these films, then our ability to spread the word about empowered birth will be severely hampered. Let’s not let that happen!

Click here for more information and to donate to this wonderful cause!

Video of Planned Twin Home Birth

Planned home birth of twins at 40 weeks 3 days!!!! She was attended by 3 midwives, her hubby, her 3 daughters and friends and family! Her baby boy and girl were born 1 1/2 hours apart. It also included the afterbirth of the fused placentas.

Beautiful Home Birth Video

Born at Home from Kat Small on Vimeo.

Cillian's BIRTH Story

by Eric and Cristina Marantette

January 16, 2011 (Due Date!)

(Cillian is my second child but first home birth. Ethan is my first born (born at St. Mary's Hospital) and he was about 22 months on Jan 16th 11. Tux is my 4 year old Boston Terrier)

3 am - I woke up to minor cramp-like pains. I felt these pains were slightly different than normal. I had been having "labor pains" since December. I turned to my husband, and just kind of stared at him for a second, debating whether to wake him from his slumber or not. I didn't want him to wake up and be excited if this was just a false alarm. Finally, after a few minutes, I shook him and said, "Eric, I'm having weird pains." He gave me the confused, I'm-not-awake-yet look, then passed out again. I sat in bed waiting for the pains of true labor.

4 am - I felt them alright! This time I didn't feel too bad about waking my husband, so I shook him a tad bit harder and said, "Wooby, I'm having pains." He quickly sat, rubbed his eyes, and looked straight at me. I knew now that I had his attention. We sat in bed, chatting in hidden excitement about what the pains were like and how far apart they were. The contractions weren't yet consistent; some would come 8 minutes apart, and others came after only 3 minutes since the previous. I knew deep down that these pains were different. After a while we knew that this was it because the contractions kept coming, progressively getting stronger. I decided that I needed O' Brother, Where Art Thou?, one of my favorite movies playing in the background. It was also playing while I was in labor with Ethan. After starting the movie, Eric went to the kitchen to warm up two of his home made cranberry orange scones from the day before, one for each of us. They were delicious!

5 am - Still in bed, we finally convinced ourselves that it was time to call our midwife, Diane. She assured us that we still had a while to go and advised us to call her again when the contractions were closer together. After hanging up with Diane, I stood and waddled to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and had a couple of contractions. The contractions were becoming more painful earlier than I expected. They were strongly advancing. Every time that I felt one coming, I would look up and stare at the bright, round light bulb above me. It was my focal point during the toilet-sitting phase. My husband walked over and asked if I needed anything. He would stop talking if he saw me breathing heavily, which was really nice because I needed the concentration to deal with the pains. When I was almost ready to get off of the toilet, I noticed my bloody show. I was so happy to see that the labor was advancing that I called Eric over to let him know.

6 am - My husband filled the large bath tub and helped me in because of my desire to be submerged in warmth. The first contraction in the bath came, and I started swaying my body back and forth as Eric splashed the water on my neck and legs. It was easier to take the edge off of these contractions because of the toasty water that surrounded me. My contractions were now consistently coming 5 or less minutes apart and lasting for a minute. Eric was using a contraction timer on our iPad to keep track of them. At this point he insisted calling Diane again even though I didn't think that Cillian's arrival was near. She told him that she would call her apprentice, Liz, and that they would be there soon when he explained how often the contractions were coming. With me still in the tub, Eric took my hand and began to pray, "Dear God, ..." At this moment, a contraction began, and I squeezed his hand as he continued to pray.

During his prayer, I closed my eyes and felt the strength that God was giving me. "I can do this," I told myself.

7 am - I was able to stand up in the bath tub all on my own, then Eric helped me the rest of the way out. After drying my body, Eric clothed me with one of his white t-shirts and I made my way back to the toilet. The toilet seat provided the perfect support during the contractions because of the pressure that I felt. For each one of my contractions, Eric was there to put pressure on my lower back. He was my support angel. Eric heard a knock on the front door, so he had to leave me to go let Diane in. It was hard for those few minutes while he was away because I had no helper by my side. He quickly returned to inform me that she was here. Diane entered our room and quietly sat on the ottoman as Eric warmed up the last scone for her. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was playing in the background at this time.

7:15 am - I called Eric over to help me off of the toilet so that I could go lean on the edge of the bed. During the first contraction that I had there, my body told me what I needed to do, which was to get down on all fours and arch my back like a cat. I remembered to find a focal point and to intensely focus on it to help with the contractions; however, I found myself staring through things instead of right at them. After the first contraction that I had on the floor, I heard Diane reassuring me, saying, "That was good, Cristina. You're doing good." Almost immediately after she said that, I felt another one coming. The cat-stretching began, and I felt Eric's fist pushing down on my lower back, which eased the pain. After that one, Diane said that they were coming really close together. That was great news to me.

7:30 am - In the middle of one of the contractions, I heard footsteps in the hallway. All I saw were scrubs walking towards us, and I knew that it was Liz. I felt bad for not greeting her, but I figured that she would understand because of the heavy breathing. After the contraction was over, Eric apologized to her that there were no more scones. She said that she was okay because she had just eaten a big piece of banana bread. A couple of times, I pulled my body up against the bed to attempt to have a contraction there, but my body would take over, with almost animal-like instinct, to force me back down to my hands and knees. Around this time, Ethan woke up, and I remember looking up at him and saying, "Mommy's okay. I love you." Eric put Cars on in the living room and told him to stay out there, but he kept coming back in to see what was happening.

7:45 am - Eric realized that Forgetting Sarah Marshall was inappropriate for the situation, so he took the movie off. Diane asked Eric where the birth kit was, and Eric replied, "The towels and sheets are right here." However, she was referring to the kit that she thought she had given us during the home visit. To her surprise, she had never given us one. Eric could see the concern in her eyes as she left to go see if she had one in her car. We were all relieved when she returned with one. Diane and Liz asked me if I could make it up on the bed so that they could check me to see how dilated I was. Liz took my vitals and then saw that I was dilated 8 cm. I was pleased to hear this, even though I thought that I would already be 10 cm. Greedy me! Since we didn't have a complete birth kit, Diane asked Liz to call one of their other patients to see if they had any sheet-protection pads. We were in luck because the patient did have some and she only lived a couple of blocks away.

8 am - As Liz left to go get the pads, I got back down onto the floor to deal with the intensifying contractions that were coming every couple minutes.

8:20 am - Liz returned with the pads, and then I crawled back in to bed. I remember asking Diane if she was setting up the birthing tub. To my dismay, she said, "Oh no, we don't have time for that. This guy is coming soon." In a way, I was disappointed to hear that I wasn't going to have a water birth; however I was excited that he was coming soon. I don't know when or how, but next thing I knew, Ethan was in bed, by my side. I was so happy to see him and have him so close to me.

I remember turning over and grabbing his little face saying, "I love you so much," as a tear ran down my face. That was the only time during labor that I got emotional. Eric asked if I wanted Ethan to stay next to me, and I replied that I did. However, both he and Diane agreed that it would be best if he wasn't, so Eric took him back into the living room. When Eric returned, he asked if I wanted to watch A Night at the Roxbury. I responded that I did not care, so he put it on. Immediately after starting the movie, he turned it off because he realized that it wasn't necessary.

8:30 am - The next contraction that I had was the most intense one that I had before I started pushing. I felt my body taking over because I had no control. My legs were shaking uncontrollably, and I felt the immense need to push. It felt longer than any of the previous contractions. Finally, this contraction had ended, and I said to Diane with an almost whiny voice, "I feel like pushing!"

Diane responded, "I know, I know. You're doing good," as her and Liz turned me over to place extra sheets and the pads underneath me. Almost instantly, the next contraction started, and I began to push as I had never pushed before. I felt intense pressure and began to scream. Even if I wanted to stop screaming, I couldn't. Next thing I knew, I saw Ethan to my right, next to Eric, staring up at me. He looked interested but not concerned. We decided to let him stay. Diane was standing at the end of the bed, observing and instructing Liz, who was sitting just below my feet, ready for Cillian. My upper body was on its side, and Eric was next to me, pushing on my back during the contractions. During the next contraction, I pushed so hard that my water broke! It burst right at Liz, and everyone jumped in shock. Up until that point, I didn't even realize that my amniotic sac hadn't ruptured.

The next contraction came, and I felt a ring of fire. I pushed and pushed, and his head started crowning. I could feel the contraction going away, so I was so disappointed when I felt Cillian's head going back in. Another urge came, and the pushing began. Voila! His head was out. The pain from his head was actually more than that of his body. I could feel Liz gently removing the cord from around his neck; however, I was not worried because Ethan's had been wrapped around twice when he was born. With just his head visible, I yelled, "Can you just pull him out?" Everyone else quietly giggled. My last contraction came, so I began to push again. When his torso was out, I again yelled, "Pull him out! Pull him out!"

8:40 am - When Cillian L Marantette gushed out, it felt like a river down there. Then almost instantly, I had a soft, warm, and wet little body placed on my chest. That moment will stick with me forever. "I did it," I silently thought to myself as I looked down and squeezed him. "I love you," I whispered to him as he peacefully laid on me. After around a minute, he let out one tiny cry that already sounded so grown-up. Eric then asked if anyone checked if the baby was, indeed, a boy. I uncovered my little guy, and there it was. A boy for sure!

When I first saw him, I couldn't believe that he was real. Every feature was absolutely beautiful. I immediately noticed how hairy he was. It wasn't only on his head; he had noticeable peach fuzz all over his arms and back. He was a manly man already. Eric proudly looked at me and said, "Good job! I love you." He then leaned over and kissed both Cillian and I. Diane handed Eric the clamps and scissors as she asked if he was ready to cut the cord. He then put both clamps on and severed the physical connection between mother and child. Around three minutes after Cillian was born, Eric brought Ethan over to meet his baby brother. Eric said, "Look, Ethan, it's Cillian."

Ethan then pointed at Cillian, saying, "Baby!" Next, he pointed at me and said, "Mama!" Eric brought Tux over to meet his new brother, and Tux just sniffed him until he could sniff no more. Tux was probably more excited about the baby than Ethan was.

I was able to push out an enormous, 9 lbs 7 oz baby without tearing. I knew this was because labor went at the pace that my body wanted it to. Around 10 minutes after Cillian was born, the placenta was delivered. It was shown and described to me. I then asked, "People actually eat that?" I still had some humor in me. I felt amazing! After it all, I took a shower, breastfed, then took an awesome nap with Cillian. We called our families, I did my hair and makeup, and then visitors were here. This was an absolutely overwhelmingly amazing experience that took place in the comfort of our own home. We wouldn't have had it any other way.

Women were given the amazing strength to give birth. Women are capable. We are told now that we can't do this naturally, but we can! This thank you of ours, goes straight to the One Most High! To the King of Kings! To our Father, who art in Heaven! We thank Him for giving me the strength to birth our little Cillian. Thank you, God! Through Your grace we were given strength! Thank you, Father!

5 minutes old

Cillian and Mama

With the Midwife

Pampers Ad Portrays Home Water Birth

I found this new Pampers ad through Stand and Deliver. I love that they show a home water birth, and I hope it helps open some eyes to the possibility and safety of home birth.

It makes me feel a little bit more proud about writing articles for their pregnancy site.

Why I No Longer Have Birth Regret

I've had different experiences with different births, and each one has been unique and promoted personal growth.

My first baby's birth was the hardest. I went in naively thinking I could have a medication-free birth in the hospital with very little preparation. I knew my mom gave birth to all six of her babies without medication, and I assumed I'd be able to do the same. I didn't realize how much things had changed in 15 years and I wasn't prepared for the routine interventions that seemed to cascade out of control. My water broke, I was induced to the point that I was begging for medication, got the epidural which led to fetal distress and slow labor, threatened with a cesarean if I didn't progress, and ultimately pushed for almost two hours and was given an episiotomy without my consent.

I was grateful I'd avoided the c-section, but it had been a traumatizing experience. The childbirth classes at the county health department had not prepared me for being bullied and coerced by medical staff to receive interventions I never wanted.

The crazy thing is that I would have gone back to the same obstetrician for my second pregnancy, except that he wouldn't accept my new insurance. I'll be forever grateful for being forced to find a new doctor. I also changed hospitals, which I now realize was a huge step in the right direction. I've since learned that the hospital where my first child was born has the highest intervention rates in the area. It's the best place in the county for premature and sick babies, but the worst for healthy moms and babies and natural birth. I chose a smaller community hospital after that and never went back to the first hospital.

My second baby's birth was a result of me trying to take control of the situation. When my doctor said my cervix was favorable and offered me the option of scheduling an induction I felt like I had power over my baby's birth. I had decided I just couldn't handle birth without pain medication and made peace with the epidural. It was actually a very positive experience for me. Labor was much faster, more than two-thirds shorter than my first labor. I was laughing with my husband and the doctor during labor and pushing, and my son came out with about four pushes. The doctor was gentler than my first OB, and he was more friendly. He didn't cut me, but I tore along my episiotomy scar. My baby latched on while the doctor was stitching me up, and nothing felt rushed or pressured. I think it was exactly the experience I needed at the time.

I stuck with my second OB for the next two births, which were both unmedicated births in the smaller hospital with a doula. My doctor was very supportive of my wishes and so was the hospital. I really think I had the best births I could have had in that setting, with very few interventions. I felt like the hospital staff were just observers and I was doing everything with the support of my husband and my doula.

My fifth baby's birth at home was incredibly healing for me. It had the opposite effect on me than what I'd expected. Instead of becoming further polarized to home birth, I found myself opening up and being more accepting of the different choices women make for birth. I felt that I would personally never step foot in a hospital to give birth again, but I was more understanding of other women who chose differently than I did.

I think that shift happened because I became more at peace with myself. For years I'd been angry with my first obstetrician for the way my first baby's birth played out. Not at first, but as time slowly went by I realized there was a lot of emotional pain from the experience. I felt like everyone around me had been making decisions for me. I had no voice, and when I tried to speak up no one listened. I blamed my doctor for everything that hadn't gone according to my wishes. I had deep regrets, especially after I was finally able to have a natural birth in the hospital and was learning more about physiological birth. If only I'd been able to prepare myself better during my first pregnancy. If only I'd put some thought into which doctor I went to and where I would give birth. If only I'd been smarter, more informed, and not so quick to trust the medical professionals. I blamed myself for not making better decisions and knowing better.

I transferred the pain and blame I felt onto other women who seemed to be making the same mistakes I'd made. I couldn't understand why anyone would knowingly choose a birth full of interventions and I had a sort of self-righteous attitude about it. I felt I knew better, and people should listen to me. I took it personally when they didn't want to listen. I wished I'd had someone to tell me all the things I should have known, and my friends were dismissing this important information without a second thought.

My home birth helped me find inner peace. Somehow through that experience I was finally able to forgive myself. For the first time in nine years I no longer felt angry or pained at the memory of that first traumatic birth.

My inner peace seemed to translate outward toward others. Once I was able to forgive myself for being human and making mistakes I was able to be more genuinely loving and supportive of others who made decisions I wouldn't personally make.

I also realized that each of my birth experiences was a part of my path. When I was pregnant for the first time I wasn't ready for the information I now understand. After the disappointment of my out-of-control first birth I needed to heal, and that took time and experience. Even though it was fully medicated, my second baby's birth was very healing for me at the time. I learned that medicated birth can go smoothly and it's not always a train wreck. Through the births of my third and fourth children I learned about my own power and strength, and I was gradually growing more confident in my body and spirit. I also found great strength and support in my husband and my doula, and it was beautiful to have them to depend on. My natural hospital births gave me the confidence to move forward with a planned home birth. Through my home birth I felt I came full circle and was able to embrace every experience I'd had before that point in time. I also feel the home birth helped prepare me for more things to come, possibly a planned unassisted birth in my future.

One thing I've realized is that people can and do change, and what we each need is loving support for where we are and what we need at the time. I'm glad I didn't have someone screaming in my face telling me what a mistake it was to be asking for an epidural, or how stupid it was to schedule an induction. At those points in time I wouldn't have been able to accept it.

I needed to have these experiences for my personal growth, and I feel it will help me to better support other women in their various pregnancy and birth choices. I understand why women choose interventions because I've been there. I also understand what it's like to experience trauma and regret, and the healing that takes place. I accept that each woman is at a certain place in her path and must make the choices that she feels are best for her and her situation. Understanding my own imperfections helps me to appreciate someone else in her imperfect state. When I think about what I've been through and what has brought me to where I am now, I can more easily accept a woman for who she is today and what she chooses to do.

From Spark to Raging Fire

I always wanted to have natural birth - without medication. There was a desire there from before I ever got pregnant. It was stifled when I failed at my first attempt. I felt defeated and incapable of reaching my dream. I couldn't understand how anyone could have an un-medicated birth because it seemed impossible. That's why I scheduled an induction for my second baby. It was my way of taking control of a situation that felt grossly out of control.

My husband teased me. “You can't handle birth without an epidural!” I shot back “You try it and see if you can handle it!” As much as his taunting annoyed me, it spurred me forward. I still wanted a natural birth, but I didn't know how to do it.

Enter my amazing doula. She was a massage therapist who worked with my husband and had a passion for childbirth. She was certifying as a birth doula and offered to support me in labor and birth. I told her the secret I'd been keeping from everyone for years: I wanted a natural birth, but I didn't know how to do it. She was awesome. She gave me advice, answered my questions, and helped me come up with a plan. A tangible approach to what I feared I'd never be able to touch. With her knowledgeable and caring support I had two amazing natural births in the hospital. I felt I could never have done it without my doula.

When my fourth baby was an infant a friend of mine told me she wanted to be a doula. I thought “That's great for you and you'll be awesome at it, but I could never do that”. Then I had a dream. I was supporting a close friend through the birth of twins. I was the only one supporting her and advocating for her. No one else cared or paid any attention to her. I awoke with the dream clear in my mind. Thinking it was a message meant for my friend who had been unsuccessfully trying to conceive, I called her and told her about the dream. She asked “Are you sure the dream isn't for you too?”

I hadn't even considered the possibility! I decided to pray about it, and I poured my soul to the Lord. I asked if it was His will for me to become a doula, and I immediately knew it was right for me. I was stunned. I never thought I'd do that kind of work myself, but I felt as though a flame had been lit and it was pushing me forward. I was thrilled that I would be able do for other women what my doula had done for me!

I got the list of required reading for doulas in training and ordered all the books on the list. I read book after book, inhaling the information. I had an insatiable thirst for all things birth-related; I couldn't get enough.

When I got to the last book on my list I felt full. I was to the point of information saturation and everything I read was all starting to sound the same. I was done with the books, for the time-being. I started blogging about pregnancy and birth because I had all this new-found knowledge and needed an outlet for it; somewhere to share what I was learning where (hopefully) no one would call me crazy for it.

Somewhere along the line I rented and watched The Business of Being Born, and my eyes were opened to the option of home birth. I had no idea that modern day women were safely giving birth at home! Why hadn't anyone told me about this before?! If I could do it in the hospital with medical professionals doing nothing but watching, I could certainly do it at home!

The flame was burning stronger and by the time I became pregnant with baby number five I was serious about planning a home birth. I knew a wonderful midwife and I felt utter peace about moving forward with my plans. I had an amazing surprise breech birth – at home!

Some time before my home birth I'd been introduced to the concept of unassisted birth. It seemed strange and a little bit crazy at first. But so had home birth when I first heard of it, and that had turned out to be so wonderful that I never wanted to turn back to the hospital.

For the past two years I've been mulling unassisted birth over in my head. Occasionally I'd read a UC birth story or write a blog post about it. I “met” more women online who'd had an unassisted birth. Incredible strong women, so self-assured and at peace with themselves. I felt that peace about my home birth, but unassisted birth seemed to take it to a new level. The topic intrigued me and I cautiously considered thinking about an unassisted birth for my next and possibly last baby. I prayed about it and asked that if UC was right for me that my interest in it wouldn't go away, and that I'd feel peace about planning an unassisted birth. I've felt the peace, the same I felt about planning my home birth. It's been incredibly comforting, and I've been encouraged to keep learning more on the subject.

Recently I felt the desire to read come back to me. It felt like a long time since I'd read an actual book about pregnancy or birth. I'd been doing a lot of online research and that had satisfied my needs, until now. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I craved a new book. I already had a mental list of books about birth that I wanted to read but hadn't been able to get copies of yet. I felt frustrated when I thought of the cost involved in ordering them and having them shipped to me. Money I didn't have. I talked with some of my friends about the books they'd read that I hadn't yet, but it still sounded like more of the same material I'd already read. I wanted something new.

Then it came to me: “Born Free”. A dissertation by Dr. Rixa Freeze about unassisted birth. I'd been following Rixa's Stand and Deliver blog for a long time, but I'd never read the dissertation she'd written for her doctorate. It wasn't a physical book I could hold in my hands and read, but it was definitely long enough that I would consider it a book, and it was available to read online for free.

I threw myself into the dissertation, and I've been loving every bit of it. I want to print copies of it for myself and my family. I'm feeling the flame of my passion for birth suddenly grow in leaps and bounds, and it feels again as though I'll burst with excitement over my new-found knowledge. I've been posting bits and pieces on the Mamas and Babies facebook page, and I can't seem to stop thinking about it and smiling.

I apologize to anyone who might get tired of hearing me talk on and on about the same subject, but I can't keep my mouth shut. I feel an urgency to share what I'm learning with anyone who will listen, and even those who would shut their minds to the very concept or call me crazy.

The flame of my passion burns hotter and brighter than ever, and I'm loving every moment.

Why I'm Considering Unassisted Birth

Holding my baby after his birth at home.

I've made no secret of my desire for an unassisted birth. I've posted about it a few times on here and many times on the Mamas and Babies facebook page. While it's an incredibly personal decision for me, I've wanted to be open with the Mamas and Babies following and hopefully help bring a new perspective to other mamas who may be curious about unassisted birth.

I'd like to explore some of my thoughts about unassisted birth, and how I've come to consider it.

I first heard about unassisted childbirth about two years ago when I was pregnant and planning my first home birth. Kasie shared her beautiful unassisted birth story, and I was deeply inspired by her experience. I thought she was an incredible woman and I admired her for following her gut and doing what she felt was best for her and her baby. I also thought that I probably wouldn't ever have an unassisted birth. My impression was that it was something women chose only if they didn't have access to good midwifery care for home birth. I had access to wonderful midwives and didn't see any reason I would choose to not take advantage of that.

As time went on I heard about other women giving birth unassisted and I started learning more about it. I realized that some women felt drawn to it and chose it even if they had other options available. It wasn't only for the woman who wanted a VBAC and couldn't find anyone who would support her, so she turned to birthing alone. It was something women were pulled to by some unseen force.

I found it interesting that the women I met who supported unassisted birth were not advocating for it. Each one said they wouldn't specifically recommend it to anyone, but it should be an individual choice. It seemed as though it was regarded as a calling of sorts rather than something to aspire to.

I had no aspirations of unassisted birth. I thought it would be really amazing to experience, and that it would make a nice next step in the progression of my birth journey I'd found myself on. However, it was definitely not a decision to be made quickly or lightly. To plan birth without the support of a trained care provider was, in my opinion, a very serious matter.

On the Mamas and Babies facebook page I sometimes found myself suggesting unassisted birth to women in certain situations, with a strong caution that the woman seriously consider all options and make the decision she felt was best for her and her baby.

I'd always believed I could handle anything in birth as long as I had the right support people. In the hospital that was my husband and my doula. For my home birth it was my husband and the midwives. I even had a moment during my home birth when I panicked as a contraction started and I realized I was alone. It was the worst and most painful part of my labor because I was scared and it made everything hurt worse. As I've reflected on that experience I've realized that I'd been depending on a false belief that I had to have certain people there to support me during birth. I've since realized that I'm capable and strong enough to birth even alone if need be.

I've had this feeling nagging at the back of my mind ever since I first read Kasie's story, and it's gotten stronger over time. I'm being drawn to unassisted birth. It's not something I chose; I feel I was chosen for it. I feel it's part of my personal journey.

When I was pregnant with my second miscarriage I had a strong desire to be left alone. I didn't even want to tell my midwife I was pregnant, and I didn't want to have any prenatal care until the second trimester when I'd be able to hear a heart beat and know that all was well. I wanted to labor and give birth alone, without anyone there but my family. I knew part of it was the fact that I'd only recently gone through my first miscarriage and I was terrified of going through that again. I was also depressed and I attributed my desire to isolate myself to the depression, but an interesting thing happened. After the miscarriage I was able to pull out of the depression and feel like myself again, but the desire for unassisted birth has stayed, steady and strong.

I've prayed about it for several months now. I've asked that if it's the best thing for me to plan for an unassisted birth with my next pregnancy then the desire would stay and I would feel peaceful about it, and if it wasn't best the desire would leave or I would feel uneasy. The desire is stronger than ever and I feel extreme peace about it. It's the same peace I felt when I decided to plan a home birth for my fifth baby.

I know from experience how important it is to follow my feelings. I didn't know when I planned a home birth that my baby would end up being breech. Being at home saved me from an unnecessary c-section. I couldn't have known that would happen, but I'm so glad I followed my heart and did what I knew was best. I have the same feeling about unassisted birth.

I don't know why, or what will happen. All I know is that this is what I feel I need to do. Maybe after the birth I'll be able to pinpoint a reason and say “That's why I needed to do this unassisted”, or maybe it will just be a beautiful empowering part of my journey. I know that I have things to learn still, and I feel that unassisted birth will teach me some of the things I need to learn. I'm not being presumptuous about this. It's not something I aspire to as an experience to check off some list of things I want to do. It's something I feel, deep inside my soul, I need to do.

There's a very spiritual aspect to this that I must mention. It's a key part of my decision, and I would be neglectful not to express it. I feel that embracing and planning an unassisted birth is part of my growing relationship with God. By letting go of the trust I placed in my doctors and midwives in the past and placing that trust instead in God, I'm growing. I'm learning to have more faith not only in myself, but in my Father in Heaven who loves me and wants me to be happy. I know that He is guiding me to choose this, and that He will guide me through my unassisted pregnancy and birth just as He did through my previous pregnancies and births. This is the next step, and I'm looking forward to it!

It's because of the resounding peace I feel, that I'm not worried. I realize that I can't possibly prepare myself fully for every possibility in labor and birth, but I'm OK with that. I'll prepare myself the best I can, but I'm not going to worry about the things that are out of my control. I have God for that.

I still don't know specifically what I'll do. I feel comfortable doing my own prenatal care, but I'm not sure if I will. I feel just as comfortable giving birth at home without the support of my midwife, but I'm not sure who else I will want to have there. For the first time since my first baby's birth I want to have my mother and my sister at my baby's birth. That's a big step for me, and I've already started talking with them both about my feelings and my plans because I want them to be ready to support me through labor and birth if that's what I feel I need. They're both cautiously supportive, and I know they're uncomfortable about the very concept unassisted birth. It will probably take some time and more prayers to get to the point of having their full support, but I feel good about it.

It's funny that I'm planning this when I'm not even pregnant yet. The timing is very interesting. I don't know if I would have been prepared to do this if either my first or second miscarriage had remained a viable pregnancy. Somehow, I think this is all connected and I definitely feel there is a higher purpose to everything I experience. I'm grateful to know that, and I'm so glad that my life is being guided by an omnipotent being rather than the imperfect person I am.

Home Birth in the News

I was recently interviewed for a newspaper article about home birth. It was part of a full-page spread about out-of-hospital birth, and it turned out really well. It's very exciting to see natural birth getting more publicity, and I'm honored to be part of it.

From Hospital to Home

by Jessica Eyre

For Cherylyn, childbirth has been something of an evolution.

"From the beginning, I wanted to have natural childbirth without medication," Cherylyn said, "but I didn't know how to go about it."

Her first two children were born in a hospital, and Cherylyn got an epidural both times. With only the idea of wanting to do it without pain medication, Cherylyn said both times she didn't have the support or the knowledge on how to successfully do it.

For baby No. 3, Cherylyn found a doula, a trained person who provides emotional and physical support during labor and delivery. Together, they created a birthing plan.

"She worked with me in what I wanted and what I didn't want," Cherylyn said. For example, instead of a standard I.V., Cherylyn wanted a heparin lock. It gives access to a vein but does not require a bottle of I.V. fluid to be running.

"I didn't like being hooked up to wires," Cherylyn said. By having that freedom of movement, she could try different positions and walk around to help the progression of labor.

Another part of Cherylyn's birthing plan was having intermittent monitoring rather than constant monitoring. This, again, allowed Cherylyn to move freely around her hospital room.

She took her birthing plan to her obstetrician, who agreed with everything on it.

Baby No. 3 arrived without any medication.

"That was a wonderful experience, it was really beautiful," Cherylyn said.

Her doula was there with her, helping her focus and manage what she was going through.

Her fourth pregnancy went the same way, and she decided then that she wanted to become a doula herself.

While going through the training process of becoming a doula, she started reading course materials, and came across "The Business of Being Born," a documentary film about childbirth. It was this film that introduced Cherylyn to home birth as a safe, viable option.

"I realized I had more choices than I ever knew I had. So with her 5th pregnancy, "I knew that's what I needed to do," she said, referring to delivering at home.

Cherylyn found a midwife, who was a client of her husband, a massage therapist. Cherylyn said it is important when choosing a midwife, that you are comfortable with their credentials, experience and personality -- just as you would with a doctor.

There were similarities, but some big differences, between Cherylyn's prenatal care with her midwife and obstetritian.

The first prenatal visit was at Cherylyn's home, and subsequent visits were at her midwife's house. The prenatal schedule was virtually the same as her OB.

She did urinalysis and other tests, although Cherylyn chose to have an ultrasound and Group B Strep test at her doctor's office so it could be paid for by insurance.

A big difference for Cherylyn, however, was the approach her midwife took toward her health. Cherylyn has problems with anemia during pregnancy. Her iron levels were always low, even with a supplement.

"With my midwife, she talked to me about nutrition to help," Cherylyn said. While she still took an iron supplement, "for the first time ever, I didn't have an iron deficiency."

Another difference Cherylyn pointed out was the time she got to spend with the midwife at each appointment.

The midwife spent about 45 minutes with her each time, talking about good nutrition and her emotional well-being.

"She really connected with me on an emotional level, while still staying on top of my physical well-being," Cherylyn said.

When it came time for delivery, Cherylyn chose to deliver in a birthing pool, provided by her midwife, in her home.

During labor, midwives monitor the mother, they can administer oxygen if needed, they can break the mother's water.

"There are lots of things they can do at home," Cherylyn said.

But mostly, a midwife is there to make sure nature takes its course and the mother and baby are healthy on the other side of delivery.

When Cherylyn was delivering her baby, it was discovered that he was breech, meaning he was coming out feet first. While her midwife wanted to move her to the bed so she can turn the baby. But a second midwife who was there to help had a lot of experience with breech babies, and said Cherylyn could stay in the water and continue to deliver, and he was out within 10 minutes.

Cherylyn said the most interesting part of this experience was how the baby really worked with her body during delivery. Once his legs came out, he was kicking in the water. When his body came out, he was able to move his body around.

"He used his hands and his feet to push off to get his head out," Cherylyn said.

Certainly a delivery of this nature could have gone in a very different direction.

"If I would have had him in the hospital, I would have had surgery," Cherylyn said.

Cherylyn is now training to be a midwife, too, which she anticipates will take about five years.

Is Forever Enough?

Natural Home Birth of Twins

Natural Home Birth of Twins

I came across a fantastic blog post about a natural home birth of surprise twins. It's a quick read, so please check it out.

I feel that a lot of the feelings this wonderful mother expresses about her birth experience mirror my own feelings about my surprise breech home birth.

Latest Study on Home Birth From the Canadian Medical Association Journal

The September 15th issue of Canadian Medical Association Journal has a new study on the safety of home birth in comparison to hospital birth.

"The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada encourages research into the safety of all birth settings. It does not take a specific stand on home birth. In 2008, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reiterated its longstanding opposition to home births, stating that the choice to deliver at home places the process of giving birth ahead of the goal of having a healthy baby. In contrast, the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in the United Kingdom has issued a statement supporting home birth as a viable choice for women with uncomplicated pregnancies.

"In this study, we ascertained outcomes of all planned home births attended by registered midwives in an entire health region with a single-payer universal health care system. We compared them with the outcomes of all planned hospital births that met the criteria for home birth and were attended by the same cohort of midwives. We also compared the outcomes of a matched sample of women of similar risk status who planned to deliver in hospital with a physician in attendance.

"Our study showed that planned home birth attended by a registered midwife was associated with very low and comparable rates of perinatal death and reduced rates of obstetric interventions and adverse maternal outcomes compared with planned hospital birth attended by a midwife or physician. Our population rate of less than 1 perinatal death per 1000 births may serve as a benchmark to other jurisdictions as they evaluate their home-birth programs."

Click here for the full article:

Outcomes of Planned Home Birth Versus Hospital Birth

Physicians Take Anti-Midwife Smear Campaign to the Airwaves

PushNews from The Big Push for Midwives Campaign
CONTACT: Katherine Prown, (414) 550-8025, katie@thebigpushformidwives.org
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Friday, September 11, 2009

Physicians Take Anti-Midwife Smear Campaign to the Airwaves
Home Birth Mothers, Celebrities, Insulted on National TV

WASHINGTON, D.C. (September 11, 2009)—Referring to women who choose to give birth in out-of-hospital settings as “hedonistic” and likening childbirth to a “spa treatment,” members of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a trade group representing the professional and financial interests of OB/GYNs, took their anti-midwife campaign to the airwaves in a Today Show segment rife with insults, stereotypes, and misinformation, using one family’s tragedy as a platform for the organization’s well-funded assault against choices in childbirth.

“About the only thing ACOG has right is that women are choosing out-of-hospital deliveries in record numbers,” said Steff Hedenkamp of The Big Push for Midwives Campaign. “What Erin Tracy and other apologists for the group’s anti-midwife position fail to see is that one of the forces driving women to seek out-of-hospital care is the paternalistic, profit-driven model of maternity care that far too many of its own members provide.”

During the segment ACOG reiterated its claim, which has been thoroughly debunked by a large and growing body of medical literature, that out-of-hospital delivery is unsafe. Describing women who choose to give birth in private homes and freestanding birth centers as “hedonistic” mothers who knowingly put the lives of their babies at risk for the sake of an “experience” they believe will be like a “spa treatment,” members of the group echoed last year’s position statement claiming that women who choose out-of-hospital deliveries base their decisions on what’s “fashionable” or “trendy.”

“ACOG clings to this ridiculous fantasy that women choose to deliver their babies outside of the hospital because they want to be like Ricki Lake, Demi Moore or Meryl Streep and that if women would only watch enough fearmongering stories on morning television they’ll be brainwashed back into hospitals,” said Katherine Prown, Campaign Manager of The Big Push for Midwives. “Insulting our intelligence and promoting policies that deny us choices in maternity care are not exactly winning strategies for stemming the tide of women seeking alternatives to standard OB care.”

Earlier this year, a New York City couple lost their baby during a planned home birth under the care of a Certified Nurse-Midwife. Licensed and regulated in all 50 states, Certified Nurse-Midwives are trained to provide hospital-based maternity care. By contrast, Certified Professional Midwives, who undergo specialized clinical training in out-of-hospital birth, are legally authorized to provide care in 26 states, although outdated regulations effectively prevent them qualifying for licensure in the state of New York.

Legislation to license and regulate Certified Professional Midwives is currently pending in an additional 18 states, despite staunch opposition from the American Medical Association, which has joined with ACOG in adopting position statements that would deny families who choose out-of-hospital maternity care legal access to nationally credentialed midwives with specialized training to provide it.

The Big Push for Midwives Campaign represents thousands of grassroots advocates in the United States who support expanding access to Certified Professional Midwives and out-of-hospital maternity care. The mission of The Big Push includes educating national policymakers about the reduced costs and improved outcomes associated with out-of-hospital birth and advocating for including the services of Certified Professional Midwives in health care reform. Media inquiries: Katherine Prown (414) 550-8025, katie@thebigpushformidwives.org

I copied this from The Big Push for Midwives

The Birth Wars: Who's winning the home birth debate?

The Birth Wars: Who's winning the home birth debate?

This is an excellent article that details the home birth debate between the medical community and those who are pro home birth. I found it to be very interesting and informative. I would recommend this article to anyone who is interested in learning more about the pros and cons of hospital vs. home birth, and the research studies (or lack thereof) that are behind the claims on both sides of the issue.

The Home Water Birth Breech Delivery of Liam

By the time I received the surprising news that I was pregnant with my fifth baby, I had given birth to two of my babies in the hospital completely medicated and to the other two in the hospital without any medication. I had learned a lot about my body, mind, and spirit, and what they are capable of. I had worked with a doula to achieve the natural birth I had always wanted, and I had even started the process of training to become a birth doula myself. At the time I was reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth. I felt like a sponge. I had discovered a deep passion and I was soaking up every bit of information I could.

In my studies I had learned about the option of home birth. It was something I had never considered before in my life because I didn't know until then how safe and wonderful it could be. I knew then that I had some options I had never even thought about with my previous pregnancies. I had always been interested in water birth (giving birth in a tub of warm water), but it was not an option in the hospital because of the policies in place. Even after the birth of my fourth child I had felt a sense that something was still missing from my birth experiences. I felt that home birth would fill that void. As I thought about my options, the idea of a water birth at home gave me great peace. The peace I felt surprised me, but I welcomed it. I prayed about planning to birth my baby at home, and that resounding peace filled my soul. That peace stayed with me throughout my entire pregnancy. I never felt fear about my choice to birth at home.

Along my journey I had been blessed to meet people with wonderful skills. Through his work in massage therapy, my husband had gotten to know a midwife who specialized in home birth, and had been working in that field for 15 years. I called her and we started meeting regularly for prenatal visits and monthly forum meetings at her home. She did all of the clinical work that my obstetrician had done at the prenatal visits, but she also offered emotional support that I had never experienced with a birth care provider before. Over the months my midwife and I developed a close bond and friendship that I had never expected. I was able to meet all of her birth attendants (all trained birth doulas who were either midwifery apprentices or midwives themselves), and to familiarize myself with the people who would be at my baby's birth.

I went to my obstetrician's office three times in my pregnancy for various medical tests that my midwife didn't offer (such as an ultrasound). I knew which medical screenings and tests I wanted and didn't want, and I knew my reasons for choosing them or declining them, and I felt informed and comfortable in my decisions. I felt that I got the best of both worlds on my own terms.

My children had already started to become familiar with birth terms and concepts from the many times I read about and talked about pregnancy and birth with my friends. My older children had started asking me questions about what the terms meant and I answered their questions in simple ways that they could understand. They were interested and I decided to use that curiosity to teach them. I didn't know whether I wanted my children to witness the birth, but I knew I wanted them to be prepared for it. I didn't want them to be scared and I hoped they would understand what was happening whether they were present in the room for the birth or not. I wanted them to understand what we were planning and why, especially because it was so different from what most people in our society do.

As the baby's due date came close, my husband and I worked to organize our home to avoid unnecessary clutter and chaos. We tried to foster an environment of peace and love. It was difficult at times with four rambunctious children, but we worked together, prayed often as a family and worked hard to turn the moments of chaos and confusion into bonding times in changing those moods into positive moments.

I had several days of early labor, spread out over more than a week. The contractions were mild and I could walk and talk through them and go about my day. I started to feel very anxious about having my baby, and at times I got frustrated when the contractions would stop for a day or so. My mood was all over the place. I had never experienced such violent mood swings before, and my husband was a life saver in helping me calm down. My midwife assured me that the mood swings were a symptom of the hormonal changes my body was experiencing while preparing for the birth. What was good for labor was hard on my family. I tried to used this time to make peace with myself and resolve any emotional issues that came up.

While driving to my midwife's home for a prenatal visit the day before the due date, I was thinking about having my children witness the birth. I had been hoping to birth in the middle of the night while everyone slept. For the first time I felt a strong desire to have them there. I felt it would be a special bonding experience for our family, and I decided I would like to have my two oldest children at the birth. I decided to see how labor played out and go with the flow, with the hope that they would be able to be there.

At the visit my midwife checked my cervix and found I was dilated to a 1 and my cervix was soft. She did some things to try and help stimulate labor naturally, and she was able to help stretch my cervix to a tight 3. We discovered that the baby's head seemed to be in front of the cervix, rather than on top of it. It was not lined up properly. She recommended some positioning (such as knee-chest) to try to move the baby out of his position and encourage him to move into a favorable position by alternating the downward and upright positions. I used these positions over the next few days, hoping the baby would move where he needed to be for labor to progress well.

About four days after the due date, my midwife brought the birth tub to our house and we set it up in our bedroom. My midwife checked the baby's heartbeat and the kids all got to hear it, with grins and wide eyes. She also checked my cervix and found it was dilated to a 4, almost a 5, and 80% effaced. After she left, my contractions gradually started to build in intensity and frequency. It was evening and I was cautiously hopeful that we would have a baby sometime that night or the next morning. I stayed busy doing things around the house, doing whatever I could think of to prepare and keep my mind off of the growing pressure. I called my midwife to let her know what was happening, and she suggested I go for a walk and call her back if things changed. I walked through the neighborhood around midnight and the contractions started coming every two minutes. I could still walk through them, but it was becoming less comfortable to do so. I called my midwife and she started on her way to our home.

My midwife arrived and my husband helped her set up her things as I moved about the house doing what I could to help and get comfortable. She checked me and found my cervix was at a 5. I was completely calm, able to move about freely as I wanted to. I had my birth ball in our front room, and would lean my torso against it in a kneeling position during each contraction. I was using focused breathing through them at this point, but was managing well without needing additional support. Our 18 month-old fell out of bed and woke up, and I held her as I labored for a while. We all decided to lie down and try to rest while my contractions were so manageable, and get her back to sleep. By the time the contractions were strong enough to wake me I was focusing intently on breathing through them, and my little one was asleep. She was placed back in her bed and I got into the birth tub. At some point my midwife checked me again and I was dilated to a 7. She called her attendant to come assist.

As I stepped into the warm water, the pressure seemed to completely melt away and I felt instant relief. My husband sat behind the tub as I leaned against the back of it. He held my hands to support my arms, and pressed some acupressure points to alleviate the pain. It worked wonders. It seemed to me that my contractions were slowing down and much less intense, and my midwife assured me that I was still having them, but feeling them much less because of the water. Between contractions we chatted and enjoyed each others company, and during contractions I closed my eyes and focused while my husband held me and pressed the points on my hands. The next time my midwife checked, I was dilated to a 9. We were elated, and anxious to have a baby! She stepped out to talk with her attendant and my husband and I talked about how this was the easiest birth by far, and how wonderful it was to be at home and for everything to be so calm and comfortable.

When my midwife came back in to see if it was time to push yet, she found that my cervix had started to close back up! I was back to a 7, and my cervix was swollen and hard. We were perplexed and disappointed. We had no idea why my body had gone backwards. We talked about our options. If I had energy we could try some things (like walking and going up and down the stairs) to get things going. I was tired, and we all decided to lie down and try to rest. My husband laid down behind me to press on my sacrum during contractions to help relieve the pressure in my back. It felt good to breathe deeply in and moan as I exhaled, and I slept between the contractions. My water broke a little bit when I was in bed, and my midwife broke it the rest of the way for me.

The kids started waking up and the midwife's attendant helped them get cereal and keep them busy for a little while. I sat on the birth stool to encourage progress and allow gravity to help. My husband pressed on my sacrum and my midwife applied counter pressure on my hips. My children helped by placing their hands on me or stroking my feet. We soon realized that our littlest one was upset and confused about why mommy couldn't give her attention. We called grandma and asked her to take the kids, but the oldest two wanted to stay and help. We promised to call them back home when the baby was ready to come out. I got back into the birth tub in an upright position and my husband pressed on my back.

It was only about 20 minutes after the kids left that my midwife checked me and found I was at a 9. We called the kids and the older two came home. I was finally able to push, and my kids stood at the side of the tub while my husband sat behind my head and supported my back. It felt good to stretch my body out as long as I could and arch my back. The urge to push wasn't as strong as I remembered it being with my other births, and I had to will myself to push harder than the urge.

With the first really good push it felt to me that the baby's head was about to come out, but it went back in. My midwife asked me to stop while she cleaned some stool out of the water. She soon realized it was meconium from the baby and wondered why there was so much of it. When she checked, she found that it wasn't the baby's head that was about to come out, but his bottom! I sensed worry in her face and her voice as she announced that the baby was breech, but I wasn't worried. I knew my baby would be fine and I waited to be instructed on the next step. My midwife told me to stop pushing and was about to have me get out of the tub. She later told me that she thought she should have me on the bed so she could help manipulate the baby to come out. Her attendant quickly stepped in and said “No, it's alright, let's just keep her here and keep going”.

They instructed me to push and don't stop; just keep on pushing! I forced myself to push harder than my body wanted to as the baby's bottom came out, then one leg, then the other leg. As my midwife reached to help the baby I heard the attendant say “No. See how he's kicking? He's doing just fine!” I closed my eyes, focused and kept on pushing, and they told me his torso came out, then one arm and then the other arm. I felt every movement as the pressure eased with each body part that came out. Then, as my 6 year-old describes it, the baby “put the feet and the hands on the bum cheeks and pushed his head out!”

My baby was out! They immediately lifted him out of the water and placed him in my arms. He was beautiful and perfect, and I just held him against my body in the warm water. The midwife had me hold him above the water with his face down and he immediately spit out the fluid from his lungs and took in a big breath. He let out two little cries and instantly started to pink up.

My husband and midwife described to me how the baby had kicked his legs in the water while I was pushing, and moved his body to help wiggle his way out. I didn't realize until I talked with my kids later that he had actually used his arms and legs to leverage himself against my body and help get his own head out. My kids had the best vantage point, and had seen the process better than my husband, who had been sitting at my head. My midwife herself had been amazed. She didn't have a lot of experience with breech babies, but her attendant who was there had experience birthing more than 20 breech babies, including 3 of her own grandchildren. The attendant had known exactly what to do. It was good for me to be in the water and allow the baby to feel the weightlessness similar to the womb and be able to manipulate his own body in ways I never would have imagined possible. I was immediately grateful I was at home in the tub.

A second attendant had arrived sometime around the time the baby was born. I held my baby as I was helped out of the tub and onto the birth stool to deliver the placenta, which came out in one push. The placenta was then wrapped in a chux pad and placed at his feet while I held him. We were helped into bed and snuggled for a while and enjoyed each others company with my husband and other children while the midwives cleaned up. I had no concept of time, but it was a while later that the midwives came back in and clamped the cord. The kids put on latex gloves and our oldest son got to cut the cord. The midwives inspected the placenta and explained it to the kids. They then weighed the baby at 7 pounds, 15 ounces. I was given a cayenne drink to minimize bleeding and told to drink as much as possible.

I had a small tear, and my midwife stitched me while her attendants examined the baby near me on the bed and went through the long checklist, making sure everything was good. The baby was completely calm as they checked him, and my husband held him. The baby's legs were straight up with his feet by his face because of the way he had come out of the womb, and it took some time for him to let his legs down. One of his hips had been dislocated during his birth, and the midwife suggested that my husband do some craniosacral therapy on him to help his hip. He was given an APGAR score of 9/10 and measured at 21 inches long (once his legs were down).

I don't know what would have happened had I been in the hospital, whether or not they would have wanted to do a cesarean section due to the strange pattern of labor or the fact that the baby was breech. My labor with this baby was different than with my other children. There was no clear pattern to me. The contractions did get more intense as things progressed, but they stayed fairly far apart, and I never felt I experienced a clear transition stage. Even the urge to push was not very strong compared to what I had felt with previous births. I wonder how much the baby's position contributed to these differences. Despite the strange labor, the whole process was very peaceful and beautiful for us. My husband and I both felt calm through the whole thing, even with the surprises that came up, and we are both very happy we made the decision to have this baby at home.

We're not sure why we didn't know the baby was breech beforehand. The midwife is still wondering if she could have detected it earlier. When she had checked me earlier in labor she had noticed that the “head” didn't feel normal, but thought what she felt was the molding of the crown in the cervix. I don't fault anyone for not knowing he was breech. We didn't know, but God knew, and provided us with what we needed to handle it. My husband and I feel that everything happened as it should, and we are thrilled to have our beautiful, healthy baby.