Beautiful Home Birth Video

Born at Home from Kat Small on Vimeo.

Why I'm Considering Unassisted Birth

Holding my baby after his birth at home.

I've made no secret of my desire for an unassisted birth. I've posted about it a few times on here and many times on the Mamas and Babies facebook page. While it's an incredibly personal decision for me, I've wanted to be open with the Mamas and Babies following and hopefully help bring a new perspective to other mamas who may be curious about unassisted birth.

I'd like to explore some of my thoughts about unassisted birth, and how I've come to consider it.

I first heard about unassisted childbirth about two years ago when I was pregnant and planning my first home birth. Kasie shared her beautiful unassisted birth story, and I was deeply inspired by her experience. I thought she was an incredible woman and I admired her for following her gut and doing what she felt was best for her and her baby. I also thought that I probably wouldn't ever have an unassisted birth. My impression was that it was something women chose only if they didn't have access to good midwifery care for home birth. I had access to wonderful midwives and didn't see any reason I would choose to not take advantage of that.

As time went on I heard about other women giving birth unassisted and I started learning more about it. I realized that some women felt drawn to it and chose it even if they had other options available. It wasn't only for the woman who wanted a VBAC and couldn't find anyone who would support her, so she turned to birthing alone. It was something women were pulled to by some unseen force.

I found it interesting that the women I met who supported unassisted birth were not advocating for it. Each one said they wouldn't specifically recommend it to anyone, but it should be an individual choice. It seemed as though it was regarded as a calling of sorts rather than something to aspire to.

I had no aspirations of unassisted birth. I thought it would be really amazing to experience, and that it would make a nice next step in the progression of my birth journey I'd found myself on. However, it was definitely not a decision to be made quickly or lightly. To plan birth without the support of a trained care provider was, in my opinion, a very serious matter.

On the Mamas and Babies facebook page I sometimes found myself suggesting unassisted birth to women in certain situations, with a strong caution that the woman seriously consider all options and make the decision she felt was best for her and her baby.

I'd always believed I could handle anything in birth as long as I had the right support people. In the hospital that was my husband and my doula. For my home birth it was my husband and the midwives. I even had a moment during my home birth when I panicked as a contraction started and I realized I was alone. It was the worst and most painful part of my labor because I was scared and it made everything hurt worse. As I've reflected on that experience I've realized that I'd been depending on a false belief that I had to have certain people there to support me during birth. I've since realized that I'm capable and strong enough to birth even alone if need be.

I've had this feeling nagging at the back of my mind ever since I first read Kasie's story, and it's gotten stronger over time. I'm being drawn to unassisted birth. It's not something I chose; I feel I was chosen for it. I feel it's part of my personal journey.

When I was pregnant with my second miscarriage I had a strong desire to be left alone. I didn't even want to tell my midwife I was pregnant, and I didn't want to have any prenatal care until the second trimester when I'd be able to hear a heart beat and know that all was well. I wanted to labor and give birth alone, without anyone there but my family. I knew part of it was the fact that I'd only recently gone through my first miscarriage and I was terrified of going through that again. I was also depressed and I attributed my desire to isolate myself to the depression, but an interesting thing happened. After the miscarriage I was able to pull out of the depression and feel like myself again, but the desire for unassisted birth has stayed, steady and strong.

I've prayed about it for several months now. I've asked that if it's the best thing for me to plan for an unassisted birth with my next pregnancy then the desire would stay and I would feel peaceful about it, and if it wasn't best the desire would leave or I would feel uneasy. The desire is stronger than ever and I feel extreme peace about it. It's the same peace I felt when I decided to plan a home birth for my fifth baby.

I know from experience how important it is to follow my feelings. I didn't know when I planned a home birth that my baby would end up being breech. Being at home saved me from an unnecessary c-section. I couldn't have known that would happen, but I'm so glad I followed my heart and did what I knew was best. I have the same feeling about unassisted birth.

I don't know why, or what will happen. All I know is that this is what I feel I need to do. Maybe after the birth I'll be able to pinpoint a reason and say “That's why I needed to do this unassisted”, or maybe it will just be a beautiful empowering part of my journey. I know that I have things to learn still, and I feel that unassisted birth will teach me some of the things I need to learn. I'm not being presumptuous about this. It's not something I aspire to as an experience to check off some list of things I want to do. It's something I feel, deep inside my soul, I need to do.

There's a very spiritual aspect to this that I must mention. It's a key part of my decision, and I would be neglectful not to express it. I feel that embracing and planning an unassisted birth is part of my growing relationship with God. By letting go of the trust I placed in my doctors and midwives in the past and placing that trust instead in God, I'm growing. I'm learning to have more faith not only in myself, but in my Father in Heaven who loves me and wants me to be happy. I know that He is guiding me to choose this, and that He will guide me through my unassisted pregnancy and birth just as He did through my previous pregnancies and births. This is the next step, and I'm looking forward to it!

It's because of the resounding peace I feel, that I'm not worried. I realize that I can't possibly prepare myself fully for every possibility in labor and birth, but I'm OK with that. I'll prepare myself the best I can, but I'm not going to worry about the things that are out of my control. I have God for that.

I still don't know specifically what I'll do. I feel comfortable doing my own prenatal care, but I'm not sure if I will. I feel just as comfortable giving birth at home without the support of my midwife, but I'm not sure who else I will want to have there. For the first time since my first baby's birth I want to have my mother and my sister at my baby's birth. That's a big step for me, and I've already started talking with them both about my feelings and my plans because I want them to be ready to support me through labor and birth if that's what I feel I need. They're both cautiously supportive, and I know they're uncomfortable about the very concept unassisted birth. It will probably take some time and more prayers to get to the point of having their full support, but I feel good about it.

It's funny that I'm planning this when I'm not even pregnant yet. The timing is very interesting. I don't know if I would have been prepared to do this if either my first or second miscarriage had remained a viable pregnancy. Somehow, I think this is all connected and I definitely feel there is a higher purpose to everything I experience. I'm grateful to know that, and I'm so glad that my life is being guided by an omnipotent being rather than the imperfect person I am.

Lovely Twin Home Birth Video

Twins can be born vaginally, and even at home.

Notice the second baby was born in the caul.

Darcy's Birthday

by Casey


I began my prenatal care with Darcy’s pregnancy at a birth center. I had some issues with “white coat hypertension” meaning my blood pressure would spike when it was time for it to be taken, but was otherwise fine. I was less than pleased with how this was handled, and decided to try and find another midwife for this pregnancy.


I asked Danny to consider a home birth midwife, Kelli, whom I had researched and heard to be great. We went to a consultation and I was immediately confident that this was the direction I wanted to go in. Danny’s worries about home birth were alleviated after the consultation so we made the switch, 6 months into my pregnancy.


We didn’t take the decision lightly at all, but I was and am of the attitude that I’m only going to give birth so many times in my life, and as much as it depended on me, I was going to seek the kind of care any pregnant woman deserves, whether from a midwife or a doctor. I was also going to fight to have the kind of birth I personally wanted as a low-risk pregnant woman – unhindered, allowed to listen to my body, be present mentally and physically, push in whatever position I wanted, etc.. We did not choose to make this decision to switch public beyond family and a few friends.
Amazingly enough, but not at all surprising, my white coat hypertension disappeared under Kelli’s care.


Danny = husband
Olive = daughter, 20 months at the time
Karen = mother-in-law
Courtney = sister.


I woke up on July 30 at 6:15 am. Not normal for me, but I was awake and feeling “off”. I had some contractions, but they were pretty far apart. Olive woke up at 6:45 or so and I made her breakfast and put her in front of the TV so I could figure out what was going on with my body. (I was induced with Olive, so I never got to experience what it was like to go into labor on my own before) The contractions were probably every 10 to 15 minutes apart at this point.


Karen came to get Olive at 8:30 to spend the morning together and I packed some extra stuff, thinking that today might be the day and Olive might be gone for longer than just the morning if I was in labor. I laid back down and my contractions spaced out to every 30 minutes apart, sometimes every 20.


At about 11 or so, Courtney and I decided to go to Panera for lunch. I had a couple contractions while we were gone, but again, they were very far apart and not regular.


On the way home from lunch, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and could think of nothing but sleep. I wanted to listen to my body, and my body was telling me to sleep, so when we got home that is exactly what I did. I took a great nap, had some contractions throughout, but rested really, really well.


We were watching Ellen and at 3:30 I decided it was time to start keeping track of the contractions and timing them, because they were coming more regularly now, even if they were far apart. 


I used contractionmaster.com to time them. Here is how the times went from when I started keeping track: 17 minutes apart, 10 minutes, 7 minutes, 4 minutes…they picked up fast, obviously. I paced behind the couch while we continued to watch TV and leaned over it during the contractions, doing my deep breathing.

It felt SO good and right to be standing and moving and not in a bed. I told Danny to have his mom come back and get Olive, and moved to the bedroom (after answering a work e-mail from my boss ha, ha!). I was in there for maybe 30 minutes and told Courtney to call the midwife and asked Danny to call the other people who were going to be at the birth: my mom, Danny’s sister Kimberly, and my good friend Jennifer to take pictures.Then I moved to the tub in our 2nd bathroom.


The water felt great. It was around 5:15 and Courtney came in and said she left two messages for Kelli – one at home and one on her cell. I tried not to panic, because I knew that my labor was progressing fast. Kelli called back and said she was going to run home and change into pants and then be right over. She called back a few minutes later and said she was NOT going home and was 10 minutes away. Whew! I kept saying “she better hurry!”. My contractions were very strong and long at this point. I tried to keep my tones low as I breathed through them (which was not too hard for this alto)


My contractions were one on top of the other, seemingly lasting forever. And I was having those typical “I can’t do this” thoughts that occur during those last few centimeters of dilation.


Suddenly at the end of the contractions I was pushing. Well, my body was pushing, I was just letting it do what it wanted to do. Kelli called in to the bathroom “are you pushing?” She came in and I said “I guess I’m dilated, huh?” She said “the body doesn’t lie,” meaning it wouldn’t start moving my baby down and out if I wasn’t. I will always remember that statement. She told me to feel for my baby’s head. So I did. My water was still in tact, so it felt kind of like a water ballon.


During all this everyone else was working to get the bigger tub that Kelli brought set up. We got word it was ready so I waited to get through another contraction and then moved. I think I might have dove in, it looked so inviting because it was so big. I immediately and instinctively got on my knees and held onto the edge of the tub with my arms. I was pushing and, funnily enough, narrating what I was feeling for everyone there. “Burning burning, crowning, crowning…” My water broke mid-push and then Darcy’s head was out and Kelli checked for the cord, telling me what she was doing all along so as not to catch me off guard with her touch, since she was behind me.


She wasn’t doing anything. Darcy was rotating herself to get her shoulders out. I think at that point I called my halfway born daughter a “little missy” for the discomfort her rotating was causing me. But, within seconds and one more push she was out and Kelli pushed her through the water under me and into my arms. 
I played with her and floated her around in the water for about 20 minutes while Kelli took her respirations, heart rate, apgars, all that stuff. Darcy was so peaceful. The cord was not cut until the afterbirth was out (and it was not pulled out, but allowed to detach itself which took 16 minutes).


I was in “hard labor” for about 2 hours. I pushed for 4 minutes (and again, I didn’t really do it, but allowed my body to take over and do it). Darcy weighed in at 8 lb 6oz (a full pound + bigger than Olive, and 1 hour 16 minutes less pushing time!) I think those times are attributed to the comfort and safety I felt throughout my labor – from my environment and the people who surrounded me.


A big lesson I learned from the whole prenatal and birth experience is to not be afraid to fight for and have the care and experience you want. Life is too short to take monumental experiences lightly, and – You deserve it. All along I knew that if things didn’t turn out the way I hoped, at least I didn’t let myself get railroaded, and I was under the care of someone who had MY best interest in mind.

Substance Found in Breast Milk Kills 40 Types of Cancer Cells

As published on FoxNews.com

"Swedish researchers have discovered that a substance found in human breast milk has the ability to kill cancer cells, according to a study published in the PLoS One Journal.

"The substance known as HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells), was discovered years ago, but has just recently been tested on humans.

"In the trial conducted at Lund University in Sweden, patients suffering from bladder cancer were treated with HAMLET. After each treatment, the patients excreted dead cancer cells in their urine, healthy cells remaining intact.

"Previous laboratory experiments showed that HAMLET has the ability to kill 40 different types of cancer cells, but this was the first test conducted on humans. The next step will be to test the substance on skin cancer and brain tumors.

"The trial breakthrough increases the hopes that HAMLET will be developed into a cancer treatment medication in the future."

Using Epidural Anesthesia Judiciously

I've blogged about epidurals before:

Epidural: Procedure, Benefits and Potential Risks

The Evidence Says Epidurals Do Impact Newborns

Those two blog posts discuss some of the risks and negative impacts of epidurals, and it's important information to consider when you are deciding which birthing options you will utilize for your baby's birth.

I found a really good blog post on The Unnecesarean about using epidural anesthesia judiciously:

Minimizing the Negative Affects of Epidural Anesthesia

It's written by a Certified Nurse Midwife, and discusses situations in which an epidural might be beneficial to use, and ways of approaching its use to provide the best support for the mother and baby.

State of Florida to Ban VBAC in Birth Centers

"On Wednesday, March 24th, the State of Florida’s Agency for Health Care Administration will move to permanently ban Vaginal Birth after Cesarean (VBAC) in Florida birth centers."

Please click below to read the full story and to sign a petition asking lawmakers to allow VBAC to remain a legal option in Florida birth centers.

State of Florida to Ban VBAC in Birth Centers