We Can Be Much Kinder

About the importance of delayed cord clamping and uninterrupted bonding between mom and baby immediately after birth.

We Can Be Much Kinder from The Other Side of the Glass on Vimeo.

Confessions of a Baby Who Wasn't Held

Physical touch is extremely important, but it's never been easy for me. I've always been fiercely independent in nature, even as an infant. My mother tells me that I cried and squirmed whenever someone tried to hold me. As a result, I wasn't held. I think my parents found it easier not to try. Even as I grew up physical touch was never a priority in our home. We kissed our parents goodnight and goodbye and hugged occasionally, but we always kept to our own space most of the time. I wonder why I was that way. Even now I'm somewhat of an ice princess, and physical touch doesn't come naturally to me. I wonder if my parents had made a stronger effort to hold me, if they could have nurtured me to be different than I am now? I'm not angry with them for doing what they did. They did what they felt was best, and I am who I am.

As a mother I'm learning the importance of touch for babies and children. My oldest is a bit of an ice prince himself, and I think it has a lot to do with his birth experience and having picked up some of my own mannerisms. As a baby he desperately wanted to be held, and wouldn't sleep unless he was being cuddled. So he's not exactly like me, at least not according to what I've been told, because he didn't start out that way. As an older child he loves it when I hug him and sit with him, but he doesn't ask for it or approach me. He waits until I approach him, which isn't often because I'm always busy. It seems like I'm always holding one of the younger two, and the older kids don't get much “mommy time” as we call it in our house. I have to make a conscious effort to snuggle my children, but I'm learning that it's incredibly rewarding.

With five children, I've never had a baby that didn't want to be cuddled. Sometimes I loved it, and other times it was really hard. Do we sometimes misinterpret our babies' signals? Could it be that I really wanted to be held as a baby, but for some reason my parents didn't know how to give me the touch I so desperately needed? I was born only 17 months after my older brother, and I wonder how overwhelmed they felt? Indeed, as an adult I'm finding that I crave physical touch, but I don't know how to go about it. I'm too proud/embarrassed/uncomfortable to ask, and almost afraid to approach even those close to me. Was I unconsciously trained as an infant that it wasn't OK to want it?

Many studies have been done and found the benefits of skin to skin touch for newborns and babies. Breastfeeding itself is an expression of nurturing physical touch, producing oxytocin, the “love hormone” and creating a stronger bond between mother and child. The need for touch doesn't end as a child grows.

It's easy with kids. They respond so well to hugs and cuddles. I'm learning to love it. I can't believe I've been missing out on this most of my life, but it's still a struggle at times. I've always had a sort of invisible bubble around me, and it's uncomfortable when someone invades that bubble. Children constantly invade my bubble, and it's taken time and understanding to literally embrace them and feel OK about allowing them to cross it at will. The more children I've had and the more I've matured, the more comfortable I've become with this, and I'm still learning to appreciate it.

I'm married to a cuddler. My husband thrives on touch, and this has created quite the dynamic in our relationship. Although this makes things difficult at times, when he wants touch and I want nothing to do with it, in some ways I'm grateful for it. He teaches me the things I didn't learn as a child. He's helping me realize the importance of touch, and as a result it's blessing our children. I don't think I would have learned how to appreciate the clinging of my loving babies without his reminders and encouragement. I'm amazed and grateful I was naturally inclined to breastfeed and co-sleep my babies, because those things have helped me as well.

I think some people naturally want to be held and others don't, but I think it's important for us all.

Parents, cuddle your babies. Hold them as much as they need you to. It's OK to stop whatever you're doing and switch your attention to your child when he or she needs you. It's OK to put other things on hold while you snuggle a little one and share that tender moment, or many moments as it may be. They won't be little forever, not more than a few years, and eventually they will likely outgrow the spontaneous invasion of your bubble and you'll miss it.

I truly hope my babies will grow to be healthy touch-loving people, unafraid to embrace and express their love in such tender ways.

Mother's Love and Touch Saves Her Tiny Baby

As published on Growing Your Baby

An Australian mom who was told her baby had passed is speaking out about how she brought him back to life by cuddling him skin to skin.

When Jamie and Emily Ogg arrived on March 25 at 27 weeks gestation doctors gave little Jamie no chance of survival even though he weighed just over 2 lbs.

His twin sister Emily had survived but Jamie was declared dead by the doctor who delivered him after 20 minutes battling to get him to breathe.

He was handed to his mother Kate so she and her partner David could grieve and say her goodbyes.

The new mom placed him on her chest and after two hours of being spoken to, touched cuddled and held by his mum he began showing signs of life.

Kate spoke about the night to an Australian talk show... saying,

‘He wasn’t moving at all and we just started talking to him. We told him what his name was and that he had a sister.

‘We told him the things we wanted to do with him throughout his life.’

Jamie occasionally gasped for air, which doctors said was a reflex action.

She added: ‘After just five minutes I felt him move as if he were startled, then he started gasping more and more regularly.

‘I thought, “Oh my God, what’s going on?” A short time later he opened his eyes. It was a miracle.

‘I told my mum, who was there, that he was still alive. Then he held out his hand and grabbed my finger.

‘He opened his eyes and moved his head from side to side.’

‘I gave Jamie some breast milk on my finger, he took it and started regular breathing.

‘At that point the doctor came back. He got a stethoscope, listened to Jamie’s chest and just kept shaking his head.

‘He said, “I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it”.’

Kangaroo care, which is what the mom did, is one of the most significant ways to bond with a premature baby.  The warmth of the moms body paired with the soothing sounds of her heartbeat have been know to reduce anxiety, regulate breathing and help babies grow faster.  In this case Kate’s body acted link an incubator to keep the baby warm, which stabilized his heart rate and helped him to breathe.

Now the tiny baby is home from the hospital and doing well. The doctor who looked after the baby refused to be interviewed by the TV show.

Mom and baby Jamie appeared on Australian television show, Today Tonight.

Here's another publication of the story on Mail Online.

Skin to Skin Contact in the OR: Speaking Up and Making it Happen

I've found more really good information on this subject:

Skin to Skin Minutes After C/S in the OR… Speaking Up and Making it Happen

This blog post by a Labor and Delivery nurse gives some excellent advice on how to speak up and ask for skin to skin contact immediately after a cesarean birth. This can be done while the mother's incision is still being closed, and it provides an important bonding time between mom and baby to establish breastfeeding and a healthier, happier newborn.

Here is a wonderful video that shows an example of skin to skin in the operating room:

Skin to Skin Contact Reduces Infant Pain

A Mother's Breast Means More Than Milk

As reported on baby gooroo

A team of Brazilian researchers recently explored the use of skin-to-skin contact and/or concentrated sugar water (dextrose) for pain relief in newborns during procedures such as a heel stick or an injection.

The effects of skin-to-skin contact were previously summarized by Moore and colleagues in 2006. Previous evidence exists for Sucrose alone as an effective measure for alleviating pain, but whether a combination of the two measures is more effective than either by itself has not been investigated .

Methods

A total of 640 healthy, term babies 12-to-72-hours of age participated in the study. Babies scheduled to receive an injection of hepatitis B vaccine were randomly assigned to one of four groups:

• Group one received standard care which consisted of 1ml of water placed on the tip of the tongue 2 minutes prior to the injection.
• Group two received 1ml of 25% dextrose solution (concentrated sugar water) placed on the tip of the tongue 2 minutes prior to the injection.
• Group three received continuous skin-to-skin contact starting 2 minutes prior to the injection and continuing throughout the procedure.
• Group four received both the sugar water and continuous skin to skin contact.

Neonatal Facial Coding System and Neonatal Infant Pain Scale scores were measured in all babies prior to the procedure, during thigh cleansing, during the injection, and 2 minutes after the injection.

Results

Babies who received sugar water or continuous skin-to-skin contact experienced less pain compared to those who received plain water. However, babies who received sugar water and continuous skin-to-skin contact experienced the least amount of pain. The combination of the two methods of pain relief was more effective than either method alone.

The researchers theorized that the beneficial effect of skin-to-skin contact is likely due to multisensory stimulation in which the touch and smell of the mother and the sound of her heartbeat block nerve transmission. Another possibility is that the sensory stimulation triggers the release of endorphins or peptides, substances produced in the body that have pain-relieving properties similar to narcotics.

The Bottom Line

Mothers and fathers should be encouraged to hold their babies skin-to-skin whenever possible especially during painful procedures. In addition, parents should talk with their baby’s health care provider about giving the child a sugar solution prior to any painful procedure.

Previous research found that breastfeeding in addition to the use of sugar water did not improve pain relief. However, more research is needed to determine how the relief achieved with skin-to-skin contact and sugar water compares to that of skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding.

Mother's Last Skin-to-Skin Goodbye Saves her 20 oz. Baby

"When Carolyn Isbister put her 20 oz. baby on her chest for a cuddle, she thought that it would be the only chance she would ever have to hold her.

"Doctors had told the parents that baby Rachel only had only minutes to live because her heart was beating once every ten seconds and she was not breathing. "

Click here to read the rest of this miraculous story.